Phoenix, Arizona
September 21, 2000

With just three days left until Unforgiven, nearly every World Wrestling Federation Superstar surrounded the ring as SmackDown! kicked off from Milwaukee, Wisc. Commissioner Mick Foley stood in the middle of the ring, saying he wanted to conduct his own investigation into the mystery of who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin at last year’s Survivor Series. The commish said he had two predictions as to who had committed the crime.

His first prediction was The Rock, who Foley suggested was sick and tired of sharing the spotlight with the Rattlesnake. The Rock said once again that he was not the culprit, and even reiterated that response in Swedish and Chinese! 

Foley’s next prediction was that Triple H was the culprit. The Game admitted that he had been setting Austin up for an attack in the parking lot, but that he would have never run him down with a car. Triple H said that since women make the worst drivers, maybe Foley should question the superstar who comes closest to being a woman – Kurt Angle.

Kurt said that the notion that he was the culprit was ridiculous, even if he did find Stone Cold to be a poor role model for children. Angle said that maybe Essa Rios was guilty, since you always have to watch out for the quiet superstars. Essa entered the ring and declared his innocence in Spanish! Kurt then suggested that maybe Triple H and DX were the guilty party

X-Pac denied the allegation but said that Chris Jericho was probably guilty, since Y2J had just come into the Federation and was still looking for his niche at the time. Jericho said no way, but said that maybe the driver was the bottom-feeding trashbag ho herself – Stephanie McMahon-Helmlsey!

Stephanie was shocked at the allegation, but reminded Mick that she was on the scene at the time of the attack with Vince, Shane and Test. She then said that the driver would have to be someone without a conscience – and suggested that it was the Undertaker, the man who abducted her!

The American Bad Ass said it was true – not that he had run down Austin, but that Stephanie was a sleazy tramp! Kurt Angle then attacked the Undertaker, setting off a chain reaction of ass-kicking which cleared the ring!

Scotty 2 Hotty challenged Val Venis in the first match of the night. Steven Richards wasn’t taking any chances, bringing the Right to Censor to ringside. Steven soon got involved in the match and was almost on the receiving end of a Worm. But Val saved him and hooked up Scotty in a fisherman’s suplex for the win.

In the McMahon/Helmsley locker room, Stephanie and Triple H talked about Stephanie’s pinfall win over Test on Monday night. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and a messenger delivered a bouquet of flowers to Stephanie! The flowers were from Kurt Angle – which led Triple H to say that the florist must have been out of pansies!

The Hardy Boyz, accompanied by Lita, headed to the ring to discuss their cage match for the Tag Team Championship against Edge & Christian at Unforgiven. But a couple of sentences in, Edge & Christian appeared on the OvalTron dressed as Siskel and Ebert! Edge & Christian then played old footage from 1990 of the much younger Matt and Jeff Hardy dressed as wrestlers and cutting promos on each other! The Tag Team Champions mocked their adversaries until Matt and Jeff could take no more. The Hardys and Lita ran backstage to look for Edge & Christian, but Edge & Christian found them first, bashing them with chairs! Said Christian, “When are you going to learn that you can’t beat us?”

With the 24-7 rules back in full effect for the Hardcore Championship, Steve Blackman put his title on the line against former Head Cheese cohort Al Snow. Al, the European Champion, was decked out in Spanish regalia and attacked Blackman with a pinata before the match began. During the match, numerous superstars ran to the ring to try and take Blackman’s title – Funaki, Test, Crash and Perry Saturn among them. Finally, Blackman pinned Funaki to retain his championship.

In a statement from his home in Texas, Stone Cold Steve Austin admitted that he was glad that no one had stepped forward to confess to hitting him, since now he could roll into Unforgiven to conduct his own investigation. The Rattlesnake said that everyone was a suspect and that they were all guilty until proven innocent.

Shockingly, the familiar music of “No Chance in Hell” echoed through the arena, and Shane McMahon made his return! The Boy Wonder said that as he convalesced in a hospital alone after SummerSlam, he used Stone Cold as his inspiration for coming back. After all, he said, if Austin could come back from such a major injury, then surely Shane could come back from this minor setback. To thank the Rattlesnake for the inspiration, Shane said he would help Austin find his attacker at Unforgiven. And just for the record, the King of Sting pointed out that he was first on the scene when Austin was hit, and therefore couldn’t be considered a suspect himself. Shane then proclaimed that he actually knew who had hit Austin, and that he would tell him at Unforgiven! 

Stephanie was watching her brother’s speech in the back when Triple H sat beside her. The Game asked if she had seen Shane’s promo, and she said yes, and that Shane probably did know who hit Austin. Triple H was actually talking about the part where Shane said he had been in the hospital alone – after all, didn’t Stephanie say that she was there with him, as opposed to spending the night with Kurt Angle? Stephanie said that Shane was probably just remembering incorrectly, since he was seriously injured from falling almost 50 feet. Stephanie then questioned whether her husband trusted her, and then she walked out of the locker room.

Next up, Tazz and X-Pac met Jerry Lawler and Chris Jericho. The match ended in a disqualification when Tazz choked out Lawler with a leather strap. After the match, Lawler was so out of it that Jim Ross came out to help Michael Cole with the play-by-play for the rest of the show.

In Latino Heat’s locker room, Chyna was irate at Eddie Guerrero for feigning sickness on Monday night and subjecting her to a Samoan drop and a sit-down splash at the hands of Rikishi. Eddie said he figured that Rikishi wouldn’t do such things to her, since she was friends with Rikishi. Chyna told Eddie she was sick of his lies and that he wasn’t the same person she fell in love with. She then walked out of the locker room in tears.

Eddie then headed to the ring carrying a bouquet of roses and asked his Mamacita to come out. The Intercontinental Champion apologized for his actions and told Chyna that he loved her more than anything. That brought out Rikishi, the man who will challenge Guerrero for the Intercontinental Title at Unforgiven. He told his friend Chyna that he didn’t think Eddie was good for her, and then he showed her more footage of Eddie getting thrown out of the Playboy mansion, after again unsuccessfully trying to get back her pictures. Chyna was ready to walk out on Eddie again, but this time Guerrero couldn’t take it. Eddie got down on one knee, and after a tearful speech professing his love and devotion to the Ninth Wonder of the World, Eddie asked Chyna to marry him. Though the crowd chanted “just say no,” a teary-eyed Chyna said yes!

Outside interference was the name of the game when the Acolytes took on the Right to Censor. Too Cool, the Dudleys, Val Venis and Steven Richards all wound up involved. The match ended when Bradshaw pinned Bull Buchanan after the Clothesline from Hell – but the fun was just getting started. After the Dudleys, APA and Too Cool chased away the Right to Censor, Too Cool gave their yellow glasses to Faarooq and Bradshaw, and then the APA danced for the cheering fans in Milwaukee!

The main event on SmackDown! pitted Chris Benoit, Kane and Kurt Angle against the unlikely team of The Rock, Triple H and the Undertaker. As expected, tensions boiled over, and all four participants in the Fatal Fourway Match at Unforgiven soon brawled to the back, leaving Triple H and Kurt Angle. When Stephanie got up on the ring apron to talk to the ref, Kurt Angle accidentally bumped into her. As the Olympian checked on his friend, Triple H rolled him up for the win. After the match, Triple H cried in ecstasy, mocking Angle’s reaction to winning the gold medal in the 1996 Olympics. But when the Game went to check on his wife, Angle surprised him with an Olympic slam, and then brutally attacked him with a sledgehammer. 

Then, Kurt Angle grabbed Stephanie and gave her a big kiss on the lips! As Triple H lay in a near unconscious state, Angle grabbed the microphone and said, “Why don’t you ask your wife if I kiss like a pansy?