WWE RAW
Minneapolis, Minnesota
September 29, 2008
Results thanks to pwtorch.com
-After the Raw opening, Michael Cole and Jerry
Lawler introduced the show as pryo blasted inside Target Center. They hyped that
Mike Adamle had booked Chris Jericho and Lance Cade to face Shawn Michaels and a
partner of his choosing. Cole also plugged that there would be a preview of the
"World Television Premiere of WrestleMania."
1 -- BATISTA vs. SANTINO MARELLA (w/Beth Phoenix)
Batista came out to his full ring intro first. The had yet to announce his
opponent. Lawler and Cole hyped JBL vs. Batista at No Mercy to determine the no.
1 contender. Santino then walked out with Pheonix. He put up the Honk-A-Meter,
which is 64-6. He said in just 58 more weeks he will tie the "Honkytonky Man's
record" and be the greatest IC Champion ever. He added the "Brain Barometer." He
said the average human brain has 6 trillion brain cells. He claimed his brain
has 10 trillion brain cells, 40 percent more than the average human. He said
Batista has just 12. Batista laughed throughout Santino's routine. Santino said
he's about to knock out 10 of those 12 cells right now and leave him in worse
shape than the U.S. economy. Batista took Santino down quickly with a
clothesline, then shouldered him in the corner and followed with a Spinebuster
and a Batista Bomb for the decisive win. Lawler said, "No disrespect to Santino,
but he's no JBL." Santino's Honk-a-Meter is fun for comedy, but having the IC
Champ get squashed like this - even to someone of Batista's stature - isn't
helping the already faded prestige of the IC Title.
WINNER: Batista in 1:00.
-After the match JBL blindsided Batista with a Clothesline from Hell, then left
the ring.
-Todd Grisham interviewed Michaels. He said he knew years ago when he trained
Cade how good he could become, but he never imagined he'd show the world that
fact at his expense. He said tonight he'll get his chance at revenge. He also
predicted that he would beat Jericho for the World Title this Sunday night.
Grisham asked if he's picked his partner yet. Michaels said last week's tag
partner Batista would be an obvious choice, but he's got his hands full with JBL,
"and let's face it, Big Dave and I haven't exactly been getting along." He
proposed a tag alliance between himself and "a man who considers himself a Real
American." He paused and there was no response. He said, "Nothing? Okay, how
about Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels and a Texas Rattlesnake." When the crowd
popped, he said he was getting warming and then offered up a "a man who
considers himself the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever
will be." He admitted he was pushing it there. He said he's given it a lot of
thought and wants to find a tag partner "who actually likes me."
[Commercial Break]
-WWE Fact: Last week WWE Superstars wrestled in Munich, Germany; Bacelona,
Spain; Lisbon, Portugal; Innsbruck, Austria; and Paris, France.
[Q2]
2 -- J.T.G. (w/Shad Gaspar) vs. THE MIZ (w/John Morrison)
A clip aired of "The Dirt Sheet" featuring Morrison and Miz doing a supposed
imitation of Cryme Tyme's parents. They said J.T.G. was born via a bowel
movement. Cole said he didn't think that was funny at all. Lawler agreed. Miz
took early control as the WWE crawler plugged various WWE-related announcements
including the "World Television Premiere" of WrestleMania on MyNetwork. JTG came
back with a cradle for a near fall, but kicked out and quickly regained control.
When JTG made a full comeback, Morrison jumped onto the ring apron. Shad tripped
him from behind. Meanwhile, though, Miz surprised JTG with the Reality Check
finisher for the win.
WINNER: Miz in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Fine for a short TV match. Miz and Morrison are genuinely
successful at being very obnoxious.
-Jamie Noble walked up to Jillian Hall backstage. He said every time she opens
her mouth and those god-awful sounds come out, he almost swallows his Skoal. He
said desperate times call for desperate measure, and Jamie said he "desperately
needs a partner of the female anatomy." Jillian said if Layla didn't want to be
seen with him what makes him think someone ten times hotter like herself does.
She sang Beck's "Loser." Dolf Ziggler introduced himself to Jillian. When he
tried to shake Jamie's hand, Jamie sneered that he heard him introduce himself
the first ten times and walked away.
-A video aired on the ladder match at No Mercy.
[Commercial Break]
-A commercial hyped ECW at its new start time - one hour earlier. No specific
match was announced; rather, it hyped that there'd be developments in the Matt
Hardy-Mark Henry feud.
3 -- JAMIE NOBLE & MICKIE JAMES vs. PAUL BURCHILL & KATIE LEA
Noble came out alone at first, looking nervous about not having found a female
partner. William Regal then walked out with Layla to watch the match from the
stage on his king's throne. Just as it appeared he'd have to wrestle alone,
Mickie's music started and she skipped to the ring enthusiastically. She hugged
Jamie, who applauded with vigor at having round a willing partner.
[Q3]
After a couple minutes of Mickie vs. Katie, the men tagged in. Noble hit a top
rope dropkick for a two count broken up by Katie. Mickie gave a Thesz press to
Katie in response, then tossed her over the top rope to the floor. Burchill went
after Jamie with forearms. Noble maneuvered quickly into his armbar submission
for the win.
WINNERS: Noble & Mickie in 3:00. Good set-up for Regal & Layla vs. Noble &
Mickie. Noble and Mickie could have a good chemistry. Noble is an utterly
likable guy despite being a sexist hornball.
-Cole and Lawler plugged a big eight-man tag match featuring Kofi Kingston & C.M.
Punk & Rey Mysterio & Evan Bourne vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase & Manu & Kane.
That's a pretty big match to wait 35 minutes to plug.
[Commercial Break]
-Cody, Manu, and DiBiase went looking for Kane. When Manu said maybe he should
talk to him, Cody got irritated and said he'd do it. Cody said Paul Bearer is
Kane's father, so that makes him a second generation superstar like they are. He
timidly said if they act like a unit out there, they can win their match.
DiBiase said they didn't ask for the match, but they want to be sure they're all
on the same page. He asked Kane if they are. Kane had his back turned the whole
time. He finally turned and got in DiBiase's face and said he doesn't take
orders from anyone. He said he plans to massacre Rey Mysterio whether they're
all on the same page or not. He said the way he sees it, "stay out of my way."
He then said he was off to see his "good friend Mike Adamle."
-They showed the exterior of Target Center. Then a clip aired of last week's Raw
with Cade attacking Michaels.
-Cade walked out onto the stage with a mic in hand. He said last week he beat
his one-time mentor, Michaels. He said in the last three months he learned more
from Jericho than he learned from Michaels in ten years. He said it proved that
Jericho is just better, period. He said he could care less who Michaels chooses
as his partner (he meant he could not care less). He said after Sunday it will
be Jericho who is still World Heavyweight Champion. Whatever that intangible is
that makes someone a star, Cade isn't showing it yet.
-Ring intros for Punk and Rey took place.
[Q4]
4 -- C.M. PUNK & EVAN BOURNE & REY MYSTERIO & KOFI KINGSTON vs. KANE & TED
DIBIASE & CODY RHODES & MANU
After the break, Kofi and Bourne were already in the ring. That's always a sign
of management not having great confidence in viewers' interest in a wrestler -
when they choose to skip their ring intros. In this case, they also skipped the
heel trio's ring intro, but did show Kane's. Manu began against Bourne. Things
broke down quickly with the faces doing a series of dives onto heels at ringside
including Rey landing on Kane. They cut to a break at 1:00. That's the quickest
sequence of two commercial breaks on Raw I can remember in a long time.
[Commercial Break]
-An ECW TV plug focused on Bourne. Not a match, just him. Good sign there that
management is really seeing that fans like his style.
Back from the break, they showed the dives again, The heels took control after
the break, with Manu beating on Bourne. Punk tagged in, but Manu immediately
took him down with a sweep. Cody tagged in and focused on Punk's legs. Kane
tagged in and stomped away at Punk.
[Q5]
At 12:00 Punk finally hot-tagged Kofi who did a nice job showing incredible fire
as he went to work on Cody with a barrage of offense. Manu broke up his pin
attempt. Bourne knocked Manu out of the ring in retalliation. Kane tagged in and
stalked Kofi. Rey dropkicked him and then head scissored DiBiase out of the
ring. Kofi dove at Kane, but Kane caught him and chokeslammed him to the mat for
the win. Kane didn't get his hands on Rey as promised, but Kane did trash talk
Rey and stare him down from ringside afterward.
WINNERS: Kane & DiBiase & Rhodes & Manu in 13:00.
STAR RATING: ** -- Basic, solid eight-man tag match.
-Cole plugged the mystery over Michaels's partner again. The mystery partner
gimmick is always a good trick to pull out of the bag-o-tricks every now and
then.
[Commercial Break]
-Adamle stood mid-ring and said earlier Kane made a request. He said he'd grant
him his wish if he won his match. He said this Sunday, should Kane beat Rey, Rey
will have to take off his mask in the middle of the ring. Randy Orton's music
interrupted before Adamle could further elaborate. Orton asked Adamle if he has
his cell on him so he can check with Shane McMahon to get this Kane request
okayed. He asked if he has to shine Shane McMahon's shoes and pick up his dry
cleaning first. Adamle said, "I'm not sure I like your tone." Orton said he
didn't like that he let McMahon overrule his decision to suspend Punk after he
laid his hands on him. He insisted Adamle re-suspend Punk. He said he's Adamle's
most valuable commodity and if he's not happy, he can make life miserable for
him. He said when he's healthy again, he will own things on Raw again. He said
he'll need him on his side a whole hell of a lot more than he'll need Shane on
his side. JBL's music interrupted. Lawler asked if anyone around here to can
finish a thought.
[Q6]
JBL walked toward the ring with a mic in hand. He said he's having a very bad
week because with the market down, he's lost more money than most people will
ever see. He said he's not in favor of the government redistributing his money
to the poor and homeless "who screwed up their lives and my economy." He said he
is JBL and his wife is one of the most powerful people in the world who will
testifying in front of Congress next week. He also said next week he will be in
that ring as the no. 1 contender ready to face Michaels or Jericho. He asked
Orton where he'll find solace. He said his past was so glorious, but what is he
now? He called him a one-armed gimp living in the past. He told Adamle to make a
ruling that "Bozo the One-Armed Clown" never gets a title shot once he's
champion. Batista's music then interrupted. JBL turned toward the entrance
stage. Batista came up behind him and speared him hard to the mat. He celebrated
his revenge as his music played.
-Santino chatted on his cell phone in the hall way. He said, "How did you get my
number? If you want, I can give you mind." Phoenix asked who he was talking to.
Santino seemed a bit guilty, then said it was a sick kid, Frankie. He said he
promised to win the match for him tonight. He said no thanks to Batista, he has
taken a turn for the worse. He shifted to a pep talk for Phoenix and offered to
help. She told him that's not a good idea. She said she is the most dominant
diva in WWE and she can't risk him messing up her matches. Santino said it's a
good thing she doesn't have a Fabulous Moolah-o-Meter because she'd have another
22 years to go. Phoenix looked disgusted and told him to stay there. Santino
said he didn't want to go to the ring anyway and blamed her mood on a "female
problem."
-They showed Candice Michelle and Kelly Kelly high-fiving and chatting on their
way to the entrance tunnel backstage
[Commercial Break]
-WWE Fact: Last week more people watched Raw than any other show on TNT, Fox
News, MTV, Disney Channel, TBS, or Nickelodeon. Yes, but what about History
Channel and Fine Living and Cartoon Network and ESPN 2?
5 -- KELLY KELLY & CANDICE MICHELLE vs. "GLAMAZON" BETH PHOENIX & JILLIAN HALL
A clip aired before the match of Santino's attempt to help Phoenix backfired,
leading to her getting pinned by Kelly. Back and forth match, longer than usual
for the Divas even at just five minutes. Phoenix finished Kelly shortly after
Hall yanked Candice from the ring by her legs to keep her from making the save.
WINNERS: Phoenix & Jillian in 5:00.
STAR RATING: *
-Cole and Lawler talked about last week's historic 800th episode of Raw again.
Then they plugged the main event tag match again.
[Q7]
[Commercial Break]
6 -- DEUCE vs. THE GREAT CHARLIE (w/Runjin Singh)
Lawler talked about Deuce having "quite an impressive background." He didn't
elaborate. Charlie Haas came out with a Khali wig and pants and a fake large
chin. He did the Khali walk. Deuce didn't seem to knowwhat to make of it. Singh
for some reason was laughing along with the joke, applauding by Haas's side on
his way to the ring. Haas rambled into the ring. Cole and Lawler laughed. Singh
interpreted for him, such as: "When curry is prepared properly, it is both
nutritious and delicious." The crowd booed it. Cole unfortunately had to
fake-laugh for another 30 seconds. Deuce broke up the Charlie Bomb attempt early
and then dropkicked him to the mat. When he went for a fistdrop, Great Charlie
blocked it and nipped up, losing the wig in the process. Haas followed up with a
high dropkick and then a top rope clothesline for the win. Lawler said he didn't
think he ever saw Khali come off the top rope.
WINNER: The Great Charlie (Haas) in 3:00.
-Afterward, the real Great Khali walked out with Singh. Haas encouraged him to
head to the ring. Singh excitedly introduced The Great Charlie to The Great
Khali. Haas walked up to Khali and imitated him. Khali broke into a smile. Cole
had to continue to fake laugh. Khali then chopped Haas to the mat with one
swing. Cole said Haas ought to choose more carefully whom he imitated.
-Cole and Lawler again plugged the main event tag match.
[Commercial Break]
[Q8]
-On camera, Cole and Lawler talked about a big week for WWE. Cole said Raw is
one of cable's all-time highest rated programs. Then he hyped the earlier start
time for ECW, the Thursday "World Television Premiere" of WrestleMania (I swear
I watched WrestleMania on my television the first time). Then the debut of
Smackdown on MyNetworkTV with the All-Star Kickoff. And then No Mercy on PPV on
Sunday. Cole then threw to a "sneak peak" at the WrestleMania special. After a
well-produced video of many past WrestleMania moments, Cole and Lawler hyped the
No Mercy line-up.
-The ring intros took place for Jericho and Cade. Jericho said someone had the
audacity to wish him luck in his match. He said it offended him because he
doesn't deal in luck. He said he is better than Michaels. He said he wanted to
demonstrate what he'll do to Michaels on Sunday. He asked Cade to get him a
ladder. Just call him Devon Cade. Jericho said he's obsessed with what he's
going to do to Michaels. Cade began throwing the ladder around ringside, into
the ringpost and the steel steps. A few fans tried to start a "boring" chants.
Jericho began slamming the ladder around in the ring. The crowd booed. He said
he planned to use the weapon to carve in his chest. He bashed the ladder into
the mat. He said there is not another man on the planet who knows how to maim
with a ladder better than he does. He said he will retain the World Title on
Sunday, not because of luck, but because he's the best in the world. He walked
under the ladder to prove he doesn't need luck.
[Commercial Break]
7 -- CHRIS JERICHO & LANCE CADE vs. SHAWN MICHAELS &
Michaels came out for his ring intro, then ran to the back shortly after dancing
onto the stage. Lawler said Michaels had to find someone who likes him. Then the
DX music played. Cole said, "No way." Lawler said, "It's got to be." And then
out came Triple H. Cole and Lawler acted as if it were the biggest surprise and
coolest gift ever to civilization. The ridiculousness of the so-called "brand
split" just got worse. Maybe WWE's theory of Raw's flat ratings is the lack of
Triple H on Monday nights. Having him be a mystery partner at the end of the
show isn't going to prove anything in that regard, though.
[Q9]
The bell rang to start the match as Jericho and Cade conferenced in their
corner. Triple H began the match against Jericho. At 1:00 Michaels tagged in and
went after Jericho. Cade hit a distracted Michaels to take control. At 4:00
Triple H hot-tagged Michaels into the ring. He knocked Cade off of the ring
apron and then turned to Cade. Cade briefly got in some offense, but Triple H
came back with a spinebuster. Jericho, though, surprised Triple H with a Code
Breaker to stop his attempt to give Cade a Pedigree. Michaels charged into the
ring and hit Jericho, but Cade blindsided Michaels with a clothesline. Jericho
and Cade double-teamed Michaels. The ref almost immediately called for the bell.
The crowd booed. Afterward, Cade held Michaels as Jericho brought a ladder into
the ring. Triple H entered with the sledgehammer. Jericho retreated. Triple H
hit Cade in the gut. Michaels then gave Cade his Sweet Chin Music. Triple H
followed with a Pedigree. Michaels climbed to the top of a ladder, then splashed
Cade on the mat. Jericho watched from the stage, wincing at the impact of the
move on Cade whom he totally abandoned.
WINNERS: Triple H & Michaels in 5:00.
STAR RATING: * -- Decent action while it lasted, but the finish was about as
flat as it gets. The match felt like an excuse to get to the post-match attack.
-Lawler and Cole snuck in last second plugs for the early ECW start, and
MyNetwork shows, and No Mercy.