WWE Raw
New York City, New York
August 13, 2007
thanks to: wwe.com
Rhodes keeps on rolling
By Greg Adkins
August 13, 2007
NEW YORK – Cody Rhodes continued to impress our fans and to make legendary papa
proud in his Madison Square Garden debut Monday night on Raw. Competing in his
first match ever at The Garden, where his father Dusty Rhodes had many classic
battles, Cody took down one-half of The Self-Proclaimed World’s Greatest Tag
Team, Charlie Haas.
It seems Jonathan Coachman’s threat three weeks ago to kick Cody off of Raw if
he failed to win has lit a fire under the young gun. As Haas’ partner, Shelton
Benjamin, watched from ringside, Rhodes showed glimpses of his father’s
greatness as he was able to escape multiple near pinfalls. After getting caught
in Haas’ grasp again with seemingly little hope of escape, Rhodes executed a
flawless Reverse Cradle that flipped a stunned Haas onto his back for the
three-count. After Cody’s victory, Haas’s tag-team partner Benjamin shot into
the ring to exact a measure of revenge. However, young Rhodes thought better of
tangling against the two and wisely shot through the ring ropes to fight another
day. The future continues to look bright for the son of the son of a plumber.
Also on Raw, the night started off promising enough for Mr. McMahon despite the
ongoing controversy raging over the paternity suit alleging that he sired an
illegitimate child. He entered the ring surrounded by the seemingly warm glow of
dozens of WWE Superstars, apparently there to show their support for the
Chairman.
Unfortunately for Mr. McMahon’s his Kumbaya moment was short-lived. After
thanking his Superstars for their encouragement, his daughter Stephanie climbed
into the ring and brought family dysfunction to a new level. She announced the
shocking revelation that her father’s illegitimate child is actually, that’s
right, a WWE Superstar!
Executive Assistant Jonathan Coachman immediately went into detective mode,
quizzing Mr. McMahon about the dates and locations of his sexual indiscretions
over the years in an attempt to narrow the field of potential offspring.
Coachman assured the Chairman that he would use all the juicy details to uncover
which Superstar was most likely the illegitimate child in time for Saturday
Night’s Main Event. The answer couldn’t come soon enough. As Coachman scribbled
notes, Mr. McMahon waxed nostalgic about his decades of sexual conquests.
Unfortunately for the Chairman, his wife Linda walked up behind him as he
unwittingly began to recount one sordid tale involving two “smokin’ hot” flight
attendants. After Mr. McMahon turned to find his wife glaring at him, the Missus
shook her head and promptly informed him that he no longer had a home. Ouch!
In other developments, WWE Champion John Cena was forced to share a corner with
unlikely tag team partner Umaga to face off against the brash twosome of Randy
Orton & Carlito. The WWE Champion, who will face Orton at SummerSlam, charged
into the ring despite the numerous land mines that awaited him. With the Samoan
Bulldozer (and frequent rival) as his partner, Cena knew that things could turn
3-on-1 ugly, and fast. But he managed to battle Orton and the Caribbean Stud for
most of the match before just barely reaching Umaga for the tag. That’s when the
Samoan terror entered the ring for maximum impact, manhandling both of his
opponents by repeatedly slapping them down to the mat, eventually forcing
Carlito into the crushing arms of the WWE Champion, who took glee in slamming
the apple-spewing Superstar with an FU to end the match.
And in what was supposed to be King Booker’s crowning achievement, the night of
his Royal Coronation, the egotistical monarch found himself cut down to size.
After having defeated Jerry “The King” Lawler last week, Booker expected to have
Lawler rest a crown atop his head. But it wasn’t meant to be. Instead, Lawler
informed his bewildered opponent, and his equally confused wife, Queen Sharmell
that Raw General Manager William Regal had arranged a match at SummerSlam
between King Booker and the King of Kings, the returning Triple H. Read the
SummerSlam preview ...
Enraged by this turn of events, the former World Champion took his considerable
anger out on Lawler, pummeling the Memphis legend with a television monitor and
leaving him crumpled on the floor to be attended to by medics.
In other Raw skirmishes, the oh-so-proud-of-himself Mr. Kennedy entered the ring
and latched onto his trademark microphone to announce his arrival in his match
against Sandman only to be stopped in mid-syllable by the strains of the ECW
Original’s music. Sandman tested Kennedy, but had his hands full with the Green
Bay, Wis. Grappler. Kennedy, brimming with confidence since sidelining the
mighty Bobby Lashley, rattled Sandman’s jaw with a swift kick to the face, and
ultimately rolled his opponent over for the three-count and the victory.
World Tag Team Champions Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch took on their upstart
rivals Cryme Tyme in a non-title match. The entrepreneurial duo from Brooklyn
pumped up the hometown crowd, even auctioning off Lilian Garcia’s seat for
$1,000. The two teams were equally matched until JTG and Shad were disqualified
for grabbing the chair they had auctioned off to wield against their opponents
in the ring to combat illegal double-teaming by the rednecks.
Meanwhile, Regal continued his love affair with television game shows, this week
donning a tight, black shirt in honor of fellow Brit, Simon Cowell. Regal staged
a version of WWE Idol, complete with guest judges Maria and the melodious Mick
Foley. In honor of their location near Broadway, Diva Jillian Hall showered the
capacity crowd with her cringe-worthy version of the classic “Memories.”
Then, WWE Hall of Famers Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik threw their
respective hats in the ring with Volkoff crooning his native Russia’s national
anthem. WWE announcer Lilian Garcia, whose new album debuts this fall, graced
the audience with her rendition of hometown favorite “New York, New York” until
she was interrupted by Santino Marella. The lovelorn Italian cut off Garcia so
that he might serenade his lovely Maria with a butchered version of “That’s
Amore.” It didn’t take long for Ron Simmons to strut onto the stage to silence
Marella the hard way. This earned Simmons such gratitude from Regal that he was
automatically named the winner of WWE Idol.
Snitsky, who made quick work of the Highlanders’ Rory McAllister last week,
didn’t play any favorites on Monday night. The unpredictable giant disposed
Rory’s cousin Robbie just as decisively in well under a minute. The
yellow-toothed ogre has looked indestructible for months, and his victories over
the formidable Highlanders only shows he is a true force to be reckoned with.
Matches
Mr. Kennedy def. Sandman
Cody Rhodes def. Charlie Haas
Snitsky def. Robbie McAllister
Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch def. Cryme Tyme (disqualification)
John Cena & Umaga def.
Randy Orton & Carlito