Raw is War

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
December 23, 2002

We start up with video from the closing moments show. A ‘HHH Appreciation Night’ segment was crashed by Scott Steiner. Scott insisted on being granted a shot at HHH and his World title before he’d sign his Raw contract. Hunter eventually agreed, Raw GM Eric Bischoff quickly announced the two would square of for the Big Gold Belt at the Royal Rumble PPV.

Pyros hit, J.R. and the King welcome us in, announce later on Christian and Chris Jericho will challenge Booker T and Goldust for the World Tag Team titles. First match: Kane and Rob Van Dam vs. Rosey and Jamal, accompanied by Rico. This is a re-match, Rob and Kane got the win over Rosy and Jamal (no Rico, he was out with the flu) last week. Decent match, 3 Minute Warning crew continue their losing streak, Kane hits Jamal with the chokeslam, RVD follows up with the 5 Star Frog Splash for the 1-2-3.

Post-match, just like last week, Rob tries to get Kane to join him in the pointing of the thumbs-fires of hell are summoned instead. Winners split, Rosey and Jamal vent their frustration by berating each other verbally and physically, Rico attempts to keep the peace.

Backstage, Bischoff and his Chief of Staff Sean Morley are concerned about rumors that HHH will be calling out Scott Steiner later on. Spike Dudley enters, wants to know why William Regal and Lance Storm weren’t penalized for using unfair means (in this case a brass knuckles shot) in securing a victory over his brothers Bubba Ray and D-Von last week. Eric decides that Spike’s display of loyalty deserves a reward-a match with Batista. He adds that if Spike’s brothers try to interfere, all 3 will be indefinitely suspended. Spike is dismissed and we go to break

We return to an ‘Earlier Today’ segment-Oklahoma native Jim Ross made his arena entrance as the OU marching band played their fight song, ‘Boomer Sooner’.

Next match: Test, accompanied by Stacy Keibler, faces D’Lo Brown. Pre-match we go to another ‘Earlier Today’ segment-D’Lo’s mildly lascivious attempt to retain Stacy as his ‘business advisor’ was politely declined. (In his conversation with Stacy, D’Lo debuted his new ‘homey’ look and used some rather dated street-type slang.) More pre-match stuff follows, last week Jeff Hardy got a less-than-clean win over D’Lo. J.R. reminds us that later D’Lo accused the ref of racism.

Finally, we get to the match. Pretty much a leisurely-paced brawl, end saw D’Lo going for the pin with his feet on the ropes as the ref called for the break. D’Lo insisted he make the count, ref refused, D’Lo shoved him to canvas, drawing the DQ. Post-match D’Lo appeared ready to attack Stacy, but quickly developed a case of limbertail when confronted by the recovered Test. Break.

Raw Retro: From November 26, 2001, J.R. is physically forced to join Vince McMahon’s ‘Kiss My Ass’ club. That show also took place in Oklahoma.

Back, footage rolls of King signing his new book at a store in Memphis . Bischoff and Morley make their way down the ramp, Eric quickly hypes the HHH/Steiner match scheduled for next months PPV, then moves on to the subject of the Rumble itself. This year, 15 competitors from Raw and 15 from Smackdown will square off, with the winner getting a shot at their respective show’s champion at Wrestlemania. Eric and Sean move in close to the announce table, ‘F-View Video’ footage rolls filmed during the break-J.R. and the King had an animated conversation, both seemed pretty disgusted at the ‘Kiss My Ass’ segment being aired. Eric vindictively announces that later on, J.R. and the King will get in the ring to face an as-yet-unannounced team. King’s protests that his broadcast colleague is not a wrestler fall on deaf ears, Bischoff makes it crystal clear-wrestle or get fired (Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura get name-checks as possible replacements.). Break.

When we return, Jonathan Coachman is hanging around outside HHH’s dressing room. Interview is forthcoming.

Next up, Chris Nowinski vs. The Hurricane. Pretty good short match, late in Chris’ rival Maven appeared atop the stage. Hurricane took advantage of the distraction, hit Chris with the Shining Wizard and got the 1-2-3. Post-match Maven and Chris trade some long-distance barbs

Coach interviews HHH, who is NOT afraid of Scott Steiner. He confirms he’ll be calling out the Genetic Freak later on. Break.

Boot of the Week: Regal and Storm get the aforementioned tainted victory over Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley.

Back to the ring for Batista, accompanied by Ric Flair vs. Spike Dudley. Quick squash, Batista gets the win with his trademark sit-out powerbomb. Surprisingly, no post-match beatdown.

Backstage, Bischoff and Morley gloat over the massacre. Chief Morley proposes that he and Eric comprise the team to challenge our announcers. Eric agrees when Lance Storm and William Regal enter-they blatantly suck up to management, plead for the shot at the King and J.R. Eric quickly makes the change, adds that he’d have no problem seeing the brass knucks used on good ol’ J.R.

Cut to ‘F-View TV’-Stacy Keibler, Jacqueline and Trish Stratus prepare for their upcoming match. Break.

Next up, Trish, Jacqueline and Stacy face Women’s Champion Victoria, Ivory and Molly Holly in a ‘Santa’s Little Helper’ tag match. Molly wears a long ‘Father Christmas’ style robe, remaing 5 ladies wear abbreviated Ms. Santa costumes. OK match, another short one, Trish gets the win for her team, pinning Victoria after the Stratusfaction.

Backstage, Coach interviews Scott Steiner, who’s eagerly looking forward to being called out by HHH.

Cut to Goldust and Chris Jericho. Y2J tries to get a psychological edge in their upcoming match by claiming that Goldust is a failure as a performer, a husband, a father and a human being. Chris exits as Goldust looks on silently. Break.

WWE Rewind: Booker T and Goldust finally pick up the Tag Team Championships at the Armageddon PPV, defeating the Dudz, Storm and Regal, and former champs Christian and Chris Jericho in a 4-way match.

We return to the ring for Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Tag Team Champions Booker T and Goldust-titles are on the line. Pre-match we see footage from last week-Y2J referring to Shawn Michaels as the ‘Has Been Kid’ earned him a dose of Sweet Chin Music. Bell rings, real good classic heel/’fan favorite’ match, Goldust is isolated early, Book gets tagged in, cleans house, appears to get the 1-2-3 after hitting Christian with the scissors kick-nope, ref Nick Patrick, did NOT mean to count 3, Christian’s foot was on the ropes. Match continues after we break.

Back, Christian and Y2J relentlessly double-team Booker, taking full advantage of textbook ref distraction tactics. Goldust finally gets the tag, signature spots are hit, loads of false finishes, Goldust ends up getting the win for his team, pinning Y2J with a roll-up and a tug of the tights outside the refs line of sight. Booker T and Goldust retain the World Tag Team Championships.

Booker and Goldust celebrate as we go to break.

When we return, J.R. and the King mention next week’s Raw will be a ‘Best of 2002’ show.

Cut backstage to Kane and RVD. Rob’s attempts to get Big Red enthused about the holiday season are completely unsuccessful. As a last resort, Rob presents a gift-the board game ‘Hungry Hungry Hippos’. Thanks but no thanks, game is returned, Kane exits, Rob regrets not having chosen ‘Chutes and Ladders’ instead.

Back at the announce table, J.R. channels Goldust, apologizes to the King about having to be the ‘weak link’ in their upcoming tag match. J.R. is dispatched backstage to find suitable attire.

Backstage, HHH and Flair prepare for the calling out of the Big Bad Booty Daddy. Break.

We return to the King flying solo as HHH and Ric Flair make their way to the ring. Hunter gets on the mic, rags on the crowd, puts himself over, the usual. Steiner is called out, SIRENS HIT, Big Poppa Pump joins HHH and Flair. Hunter goes into smarmy/cowardly heel mode, chats some more, Scott cuts him off, wants to get down to business right now. HHH proposes an arm-wrestling match, Scott accepts, table is brought to the ring. Match begins, Hunter takes control-until Scott smiles, quickly reverses and gets the win. HHH demands an immediate rematch, Scott effortlessly puts Hunters knuckles to the wood 3 times in rapid succession. Table gets tossed around, Hunter and Flair bail, Scott gets in his catchphrases, we go to break.

Back, Bischoff and Chief Morley have assumed the announce duties. Main Event: Lance Storm and William Regal vs. Jim Ross and Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler. Big heat for the heels as they enter, nice pop for the King, OU marching band again plays ‘Boomer Sooner’ as J.R. nervously makes his way out.

King quite naturally wrestles the entire match, is relentlessly double-teamed as J.R. protests impotently. Late in Regal went for the ‘Power of the Punch’-King ducked, made a quick comeback, knucks were dropped. King was eventually downed, J.R.made the hot tag, seized the knucks and went for Regal-only to be leveled when Lance attacked from behind. He and William laid in the boots to J.R. when Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley ran in to hit Lance with the 3D (ref had been bumped at this point). Dudz bailed, J,R. got in the knuck shot to Regal, went for the pin, ref recovered, counted the 1-2-3. Show ends with another rendition of ‘Boomer Sooner’ as the King, J.R. and the Dudz celebrate.