WCW Monday Nitro

Denver, Colorado
August 3, 1998

We start off with Goldberg's ransacked locker, his march to the ring, his interview, and his whipping of Adams, all done in a stunning black-and-white, culmunating with his chokeslam at the hands of Giant.

The normal Nitro intro comes on, but with different music. And we're LIVE from Denver, CO, with three hours of WCW Monday Nitro!

Tonight: Giant/Hall vs. Sting/Luger, Hennig vs. Konnan, Jericho vs. Ron Misterio Jr. This may be the first tag title defense by the guys that actually won them in ages.

The Nitro Girls, looking very shiny and very jiggly. Mmmmmm.......Spice. She's a hot spice. Definately no parsley here.

Bobby Heenan is in the booth, because Larry Zbysko has been called into a meeting by Time-Warner officials. Tony theorizes that it's about the "Texas Splotch^H^H^H^H^H^H^HGag Order" but on Larry by Big Splotch himself.

We see footage from Bischoff and Hogan taking over the (real) Tonight Show, with DDP coming out of proverbially NOWHERE to bitch-slap Hogan. DDP proposes a tag match between DDP/Leno vs. Hogan/Bischoff.

Mean Gene is in the ring, and calls out DDP DDP is wearing a "Monday Nitro" shirt. DDP runs down "Sleazy E," and talking Jay Leno into the match. DDP says that there won't be much left of Hogan for Leno to have to worry about. DDP says the whole country wants to see Leno slap Bischoff around like a little girl. He then implies that Hogan and Bischoff may feel something known as "bang."

Match 1: Barbarian (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Diamond Dallas Page Damnit! Why is Barbarian on my screen again? Jimmy Hart grabs the mic. Jimmy says "If you want some, come get some." He's calling out DDP. Page runs down from the crowd, and pulls his shirt off. No tape on DDP's ribs. Barbarian shoves Page into the corner. DDP hits a swinging neckbreaker, and the discus clothesline, but Barbarain shoves off a Diamond Cutter. Barbarian hits a low blow. DDP gets beaten down in the corner, and Jimmy Hart gets a choke in. Heenan confuses Kevin Eubanks and Bob Eubanks. Barbarian with a headbutt. Have you noticed how Barbarian's look hasn't changed in 15 years? Chops from Barbarian in the corner. DDP gets his feet up on a corner charge. Barbarian avoids a short-arm clothesline, and Page hits a clothesline. A Hart Distraction, Barbarian misses the Kick of Fear, and fights off a Diamond Cutter. Barbarian fights off two more, but gets hit with the fourth attempt, and gets pinned. A nice finish. Something different.

More footage from the Tonight Show.

Larry Zbysko is back in the booth, and takes his bows. Larry doesn't look happy. Big Splotch has filed some sort of gag order against Zbysko. Big "boring" chant? Zbysko says that Time-Warner should keep people who don't belong on the set, off the set.

Footage from the ill-fated "Brian Adams World Title Challenge" from last week, followed by the DDP/Hogan/etc. brawl.

The "long-form" Travis Twit Road Wild promo I smell "C-H-E-W-I-N-G-T-O-B-A-C-C-O" Though I admit that I picked up tickets to a "Garth Brooks" concert as a favor for my fiancee this weekend.

More Tonight Show footage.

ON NO! It's time for nWo Nightcap again. I don't know if I can go through this again. Eazy E and Liz make their way out. This can't be pleasant for the folks at the arena. They don't have the option of turning the sound off and getting a "Cherry Coke" like I do. At least, not without earplugs and $5. Bischoff insults Kevin Eubanks. Bischoff with his ripoff jokes. Bischoff insults Leno, and Eubanks. Bischoff makes fun of DDP's new tights. More chin jokes. For something completely different, the guest tonight will be "Hollywood Hogan" Hogan comes out, flexes, says "brudda," and claims to be the King of Hollywood. Is anyone surprised? Hogan gives Liz a little shuga'. Footage from the nWo takeover of the Tonight Show. Hogan calls his shove of Leno "the shove that was heard around the world." Hogan talks smack to DDP. Hogan makes the "Loser" sign with his hand about DDP. Hogan says people were begging them to come back to the tonight show. Hogan tells Leno "We'll see you in Sturgis" As opposed to "We'll see you in a sturgeon," which would be a fishy challenge.

Roddy Piper cuts a promo for TNT's MosterVision, featuring "They Live."

We see a "special look" at Bret Hart.

Match 2: Tokyo Magnum (w/Disco Inferno) vs. Psychosis Yes!!! Psychosis!!!!! This guy kicks ass. If you had TNM 7, you'd know that Psychosis is "El Millionario de Tijuana" Yes!! Disco!!!! This should rule!! Disco gets the mic. Disco says everyone wants to see him dance, but wants to introduce one of the hottest young dancers and tag team partners in wrestling. Alex Wright's music comes on. And Tokyo Magnum comes out!!! Tokyo starts to disrobe. Sailor Moon Power! Psychosis attacks Tokyo. Scott Norton stalks to the ring. Noton smacks Tokyo, and powerbombs Psychosis. Tokyo gets one too. Norton gets a mic: He says that since he didn't have a match tonight, he made his own. He challenges anyone from WCW to a match. Hugh Morrus comes up, saying "Somebody's got to do this" Norton catches Morrus coming in, and powerbombs him, too. I guess that counts as a match. I guess. Psychosis vs. Tokyo would have been better, though. More footage from Bret Hart's "Sting Love-In" last week. Aldo D. has just mentioned that Doc Dean has allegedly beaten Jushin Liger. Can anyone confirm?

More Nitro Girls.

Nitro Party Package promo.

Mean Gene is in the ring, and calls out Goldberg At least they didn't make a new World Title belt for Goldberg with "Who's Next" written on it or some other drivel, like they did for Steve Austin and the new "rattlesnake skin" WWF belt. I find that kinda tacky. I'm sure the Austin fans would disagree, but it seems like it devalues the whole myth of a title if they make a new one to capatalize on someone's merchandise or gimmick. Gene say the Giant put the smack down on his ass, Byotch! Goldberg: "Saturday. Road Wild. Payback time." Goldberg wants to be in the nWo/Wolfpac battle royale. Goldberg doesn't care if he has to destroy Hall, Nash, Disciple, or even the franchise called "Sting." to get to Giant. Sting runs out and goes nose-to-nose with Goldberg. Leaflets rain down, as Giant taunts Goldberg. Hennig, Vincent, and Adams do advance work for Giant. Giant bails, Goldberg chases him, and Bret Hart comes down to intercept Sting. Sting shoves him off, and goes to the back.

Nice promo for the Kevin Nash shirt Konnan: "Big Sexy, why don't I have one of these shirts." Nash: "Well, because you're not big or sexy." Nice.

In the back, Sting has found a beat-down Luger. Sting walks on to the back, leaving Lex to security.

Match 3: Brian Adams (w/Vincent) vs. Jim Duggan. nWo music comes on, but I'm getting my head scratched by my fiancee, so I don't care how bad this sucks. Amazing what an attitude turnaround that is. Duggan comes to the ring, and my fiancee observes that his mighty gut causes his speedo to runneth over. Hmm....lets see. Do I keep getting my head scratched, or do I watch these two losers. YOU...MAKE....THE....CALL! The basic gist of the match: Duggan beats on Adams, doesn't sell. Vincent interference backfires, Hacksaw hits the 3-point-stance, Vince tries to interfere again, Hacksaw hits him with the 2x4, and Adams hits a piledriver for the win. The headrub was the only thing that match bearable.

Mean Gene is in the back, trying to get into the WCW locker room Gene knocks on the locker room door, and can't get in. Bret Hart is there, and says he's he's sorry about what happened to Lex. Bret says that Sting can trust him, and that Sting should pick Bret as a partner instead of Luger. Hart says that if Sting lets him be his partner tonight, he won't let him down. Mean Gene is on a motorcycle, plugging the brand or something.

We see another Raven promo. Lodi, Sick Boy, and Raven come out. It'll be Sick Boy wrestling. Lodi sign: "Sick Boy Is Most Infectious" Lodi sign: "Lodi Is 2 Cool 4 School" Raven's got the mic. Raven says the upcoming Sick Boy/Kanyon match will not take place. Raven sends Mickey Jay away. Raven says Sick Boy is here, but Kanyon has been swallowed up by the darkness. Raven: "The speculation is that either Kanyon got clocked, and is nursing his wounds, or he's in a corner dive, nursing a drink, with his new best friends, the rest of the Flock." Raven says that Saturn better hope that Kanyon was the victim of Raven and a brick wall, or the triangle match between Saturn, Raven, and Kanyon, will be a handicap match. Lodi starts talking smack to Saturn, and Raven beats on him. Raven breaks some of Lodi's fingers. Saturn comes out.Saturn hits the ring, and Raven and Sick Boy leave. Saturn helps Lodi up, and Lodi pushes him away. Saturn grabs the hurt fingers, and delivers a Spicolli Driver.

Mean Gene is in the back, saying that the locker room is buzzing due to the Hart tag offer.Gene then sees Hart and Hall talking, and the meeting quickly breaks up.

Another look at the Tonight Show takeover, in case we forgot.

Nitro Girls.

Mean Gene is out with JJ Dillon Gene calls out Dean Malenko, who comes out with his new T-Shirt. Malenko says he's got to get on with his life, and Jericho beat him. Malenko says that he'll tell Jericho that Jericho was the better man. Jericho comes out with the belt. There go my Armstrong dreams. :-) Jericho says that it's good that Malenko finally came around. Dillon says that Jericho was out of control, even pushing the officials. Jericho says that Deano Machino will never have the pleasure of stepping into the ring with him again. Malenko: "That's not quite true. Why don't you tell him, Jo-Jo." Dillon says that there is a rule that if a wrestler has shown a pattern of being out of control, WCW can assign a new referee. Jericho says that Jo-Jo can assign any referee from his stable. Dillon introduces the referee - Dean Malenko. Jericho flips out, and runs out screaming about a conspiracy.

Match 4: Eddie Guerrero vs. Juventud Guerrera Eddie Guerrero comes out. His opponent - the guy who's getting the Cruiser shot this Saturday - Quasi Juice. According to the announcers, Sting has left the building. Someone in the crowd is putting on a Lucha mask for this match. Juvi wants a handshake, but Eddie slaps him. Juvi gets mad. Juvi flips out of a belly-to-back suplex, and hits a series of chops. A series of lucha moves, ending in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Eddie. Eddie with a belly-to-back suplex. Huge chops from Eddie. Juvi flips out of another tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and hits a flying headscissors. Eddie puts him on top, Juvi shoves him off, and hits a top-rope spinwheel kick. Air Juvi makes a landing at Guerrero Airport. Eddie hotshots a charging Juvi into the turnbuckles. Eddie tries a powebomb, but Juvi turns it into a swank DDT. Juvi with a nice springboard dropkick, and calls for the JuviDriver. Eddie flips out of it, and hits a GREAT shoulderbreaker. Eddie then hits the Froggie for the win! That's one of the only times you'll see a guy up for a big PPV event job to someone who's not. Interesting.

Even more Tonight Show.

Gene is back out on his bike. Wonder how much they're paying for THAT product placement?

Match 5: Lizmark Jr. vs. Stevie Ray (w/World TV Title Belt) Liz Markie comes out. He.....He's got what you neeeeeeed! Yes yes yes....no no no..... The Pseudo-TV champ comes out, but Mean Gene catches him in mid-aisle. I like Stevie's mock-innocent character. Stevie says that Booker T signed over Power of Attorney for Stevie Ray to defend the belt. He even got the forms notarized. Stevie says he is now, officially, the TV Champ. Gene says he can't find where the document was notarized. Stevie says he's defending against the Number Two contender from Mexico, Lizmark. Stevie breaks clean on the ropes. Woah! The crowd is chanting "We Want Booker!" That's good to see. Stevie unloads with some punches on Lizmark. Stevie with a front-lift-drop. Stevie drops Lizmark gut-first over the top rope, and then kicks him over the ropes. Chant: "Stevie Ray Sucks" Lizmark hits a twisting bodypress. Lizmark charges into the corner, meets Stevie, and gets kicked. Stevie with a standing powerslam, and calls for the Slapjack. Chavo comes out with some Harlem Heat gloves on. He says he found them in Stevie's bag in the back, and asks if he can borrow them. Chavo says he found a Notary stamp in Stevie's bag, along with the gloves. Chavo says that he can make a marriage license, and asks if anyone wants to get married. Stevie chases Chavo to the back, and Lizmark will win by countout.

We're back with Hour Number Three!

Match 6: Curt Hennig (w/Scott Norton) vs. Konnan nWo music comes on, and Curt Hennig comes out with Scott Norton. There's no Rick Rude tonight. Konnan intimidates the crowd with the bunny ears. There are new Wolfpac shirts with a wolf head on them. Konnan does his usual schtick. Konnan avoids a Hennig charge, and opens up. NICE hiptoss, follwed by an equally good clothesline. THAT'S how it's done. Hennig comes back, and kicks Konnan in the jewels. Chops in the corner from Hennig. Norton gets a slap in for good measure. Konnan hits his rolling clothesline to a good pop! Konnan dropkicks the seated Hennig. Split-legged facebuster from K-Dogg. Konnan locks on the Tequila Sunrise, but he lets the hold off to punch Norton on the apron. Hennig chokes Konnan with his own shirt, and then hits the HennigPlex for the win. Kevin Nash comes in, and the heels flee.

Match 7: WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Chris Jericho vs. Rey Misterio Jr. Chris Jericho comes to the ring. He'll be facing Ron Misterio Jr. This is a non-title match. Jericho with a good dropkick to the back of the head. Jericho with chops in the corner. Nice spin kick from Jericho. Ron gets his boot up on a Jericho corner charge, and hits a frankensteiner. Misterio springs off the top rope, and hits a a sitdown-splash on Jericho on the outside. Misterio dropkicks the seated Jericho. Jericho begs off in classic heel mode, and eats a dropkick for his trouble. A Syxx-like running legdrop from Misterio. Commercial. As we come back, Misterio hits an Asai Moonsault. Rey tries a springboard cross-body, and Jericho turns it into a GORILLA PRESS TOMBSTONE!!!! Man that ruled!! Jericho takes his time on the cover, and Misterio gets a foot on the ropes. Jericho dropkicks Rey off the apron to the floor. Jericho climbs the turnbuckles,and hits a missle dropkick to Misterio on the floor!!! Jericho's favoring his leg. Misterio fights off a suplex, and hits one of his own. Nice standing moonsault from Misterio, but Jericho gets up and hits a clothesline. They're slowing down now. Interesting submission hold from Jericho, kind of an Octopus Hold. Jericho with a nice avalanche clothesline. Mistero avoids a corner charge, gets hotshotted into the corner, lands on his feet, and hits some headscissors. Misterio hotshots Jericho, and hits a springboard split-legged moonsault. Jericho with a SWEET overhead-release German suplex. Jericho tries a springboard dropkick to Misterio on the apron, but Misterio ducks, and Jericho hits the floor. Misterio brings him back in wit a frankensteiner. Jericho with the double-underhook backbreaker. Misterio with a high split-legged facebuster. Misterio signals for the Hurricanrana, but Jericho pulls Mark Curtis into the move. Misterio tries a frankensteiner, but Jericho powerbombs him. Jericho tries a Liontamer, but Misterio rolls him up. Dean Malenko runs in, and counts the pin. Misterio the winner!!! Jericho throws a tantrum outside the ring, decks Dave Penzer, and takes his belt. A very good match, if just a tad slow.

Still more Nitro Girls.

Footage from last week of Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner.

nWo music brings out Big Poppa Pump Scott says that when he got home last Monday night, he got a phone call. Scott says his mother let him know that he wasn't better than anyone else. Scott talks about his mother's love. Scott takes off his nWo black-and-white shirt, and says nWo may be 4-life, but it's not 4-him, and he quits. Scott says he wants to apologize to the fans, and especially to his brother. Scott calls Rick out. "Steinerized" comes on. Buff runs out dressed as Rick, and starts biting the ropes and growling. Scott does little "dog tricks" with Buff like "shake" and "roll over." Scott says he can speak. Scott wants "Rick" to tell the people who the leader of the Steiner Brothers was. Buff is barking in answer to the questions. Buff gets the mic,and says that the people are stupid. Buff tells the people to sit down and shut up. Buff compliments Scott's acting ability. Buff wants to see Scott cry again. The real Rick runs out, chairs Scott, and corners Bagwell. nWo Hollywood runs out, and Rick calls them "pussies." The censors mostly miss that one. Let's see, Travis Tritt, Leno wrestling, weak card. I really don't think I'm going to order Road Wild this year.

Even more Nitro Girls.

"Voodoo Child" comes on, and nWo Hollywood powerwalks to the ring. nWo Hollywood has cornered Kimberly in the ring, and are leering at her. Bischoff: "She looks pretty good for trailer trash, doesn't she." Bischoff says that if it wasn't for him, she and Page would be schlepping drinks at a topless bar. Kim slaps Bischoff, and Vince and Disciple hold Kim. DDP tries to run in, but Giant and Adams hold him down. Bischoff taunts Kim, who seems upset. Bischoff: "This is what happens when you're ungrateful." Hogan is slapping Page. Bischoff: "Is it true what I read in Penthouse? Are you the most active Nitro girl?" Hogan gets the mic. Hogan says that Kim Page is "black and white" from head to toe. Hogan wants to show Kim how a real man handles situations. Hogan beats on Page while Giant and Adams hold him. Hogan wants Kim to tell DDP "who her daddy is." Giant chokeslams DDP. Vince and Disciple let Kim go, and she goes over to DDP. Hogan says next time Kim wants a real man, she should come to his house. The nWo leaves the ring, with Page twitching and Kim crying. The announcers are in dispair in the booth

The announcers warn Leno.

Tony gives Heenan a Travis Tritt CD.

We see the Goldberg/Sting/etc. situation from earlier tonight.

Match 8: WCW World Tag Team Champions Scott Hall and Giant vs. Sting and Bret Hart Michael Buffer is out to announce the main event. Apparently, this will be a tag team match like no other in the history of professional wrestling. Whatever. The tag champs make the first entrance. Giant is announced at 541 1/2 pounds. Hall: "Hey yo." Hall wants a quick survey.... He wants to know how many people are sick and tired of crying from Kevin Nash. Buffer starts announcing someone representing the Red and Black, but Bret Hart comes out. Buffer then introduces Hart as making an "unscheduled" appearance. Commercial. Sting's "Crow" music comes on, not Wolfpac music. A Sting-like figure rapells down from the ceiling, and Sting comes down with his white facepaint on. Hmmm...... Sting's got his bat with him, too. Sting pokes Hart with the bat. Hall has "2 Sweet" on his new black-and-white trunks. Hart throws his toothpick at Hart. Hall toys with Hart. Hart with a hammerlock. Hart goes to work on the arm. Hart wants a tag, but Sting doesn't offer his hand. Hart slaps Sting's hand. Sting nails Giant, and then floors Hall. Sting with a facebuster, and a clothesline. Sting tries the Scorpion, but Hall slithers away. Sting hits the ropes, Giant hits him, and then Hall makes Sting hit the mat. Giant stands on Sting's chest. Giant repeatedly throws Sting into the corner. Giant hits his Russian Legsweep, and tags Hall. Avalanche clothesline from Hall, who then paintbrushes Sting's head. Hall is working over Sting. Sting tries a cross-body, but Hall turns it into his fallaway slam. Sting accidentally knocks Hart of the apron trying to make a tag. Sting reverses a corner whip, and hits an avalanche clothesline. Sting starts taking out both nWo members, but Hall gets an advantage. Hart has the ball bat, as Hall holds Sting. Of course, Sting moves, and Hall gets the bat. Sting covers Hall for the pin, and the bell rings. Hart takes the belts, but the announcers say that Mickey Jay has reversed the decision due to the ball bat, so Hall and Giant are still champs. Giant beats the tar out of Sting, while Hart watches on the outside. Goldberg runs in and spears Giant as we fade to black....

And that's the show. Not a bad one this week, but more matches would have been nice.