IMPACT

August 16, 2007
Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida
thanks to: lordsofpain.net

Show opens with a recap of Hard Justice. Followed by Jeremy Borash on a red carpet. It is the first annual Angle awards. Eric Young comes out and says he is waiting to get Pacman's autograph. Angle arrives in a tux and the crowd boos. Angle says you all witnessed the single greatest act in the history of sports entertainment. Karen, Angle, Nash, everyone tricked Joe. Everyone is invited to the awards. And it is great to be Kurt Angle. Eric Young may or may not thing Pacman is Batman.

Opening titles.

Tenay says we will have all the fall out from Hard Justice tonight. Angle defeated Joe and now holds 5 titles. Tonight is the first annual Angle Awards. We will have an update on the condition of Pacman Jones.

A video of the various sports media coverage surrounding Adam 'Pacman' Jones' arrival in TNA.

Tenay is in the ring and he introduces the most controversial figure in professional sports, Pacman Jones. He has his own entrance video and music. The video even includes him giving a body slam. He has pyro, he has a little entrance gimmick. He slaps hands with the fans down the aisle. He appears to be taking his wrestling role seriously. He extends his hand for a handshake with Mike Tenay. Tenay mentions Ron Killings having a problem with Pacman already. Pacman was found laid out in his lockerroom. Tenay wants to know who was involved. Pacman says Killings calls himself the Truth but he just talks trash. Where he comes from, don't sing it, if you ain't gon bring it. Then Killings' music hits. Making his impact return. He is looking ripped as usual. Pacman removes his sequined shirt. Killings says he has a problem in TNA, but it's not the Truth, if he has beef, he'll eat it. He don't sneak attack. He's done his research on Pacman and they are birds of a feather. They both started with nothing and made something. Killings is a two time world heavyweight champion. Killings wants to make history. Pacman isn't biting. Killings wants to be a team. He wants to be down like four flat tires. And that's the truth, the whole truth and nothin but the WHAT? Truth. He says they can go talk to Cornette right now about teaming up. Pacman follows him to the back. Eric Young runs out and is excited to see Jones. He wants him to sign his shirt. He turns Young around and Killings gives Eric Young the beat down.

In the back Leticia is with Cornette. Christopher Daniels busts in, he doesn't understand why he has to defend his title shot for the X division title against Jay Lethal. Cornette says he was pinned by Lethal last week, so he will have to defend his title shot this week. Christian Cage comes in and says he lost on Sunday so he's done with Abyss. He has lawyers, and he won't have any first blood matches. Cornette tempts him with a title shot. Tonight, Christian vs Abyss, First Blood. The winner will be the number one contender.

Commercial.

Karen arrives with her sidekick. She has a dress that shows much boobage. She has an order of protection from Samoa Joe, so she isn't worried about tonight. She wants to talk about herself. She talks about her great performance over the past three weeks. Are all the people that stupid? Or is she just that good? She dedicates her Angle Award to the people.

Don West and Mike Tenay at ringside. Tonight, two number one contender's matches to determine the title matches for No Surrender.

Match One: Christopher Daniels w/ Triple X vs "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal w/ Sonjay Dutt

Ooooohhh yeeeeeaaahhhh! Both competitors enter the ring and we're underway. Christopher Daniels, as always gets the cheap shot in. He hits a big back body drop. X signs by Daneils. Lethal avoids an elbow in the corner. Springboard headscissors. Hip toss, dropkick to the face. Nearfall. Lethal is on fire. SIde headlock, off the ropes, Daniels throws him out of the ring. Triple X attacks Lethal on the floor.

Commercial break.

We're back, Springboard moonsault by Daniels. Lethal tries to fight back, but Daniels pulls him down by the hair. He signals for the corner. BME attempt but Lethal is on his feet. Leg lariat off the ropes. Big running elbows by Lethal, running knee lift. Double axe handle gets a two count. Lethal is still in controlled. Right hands, off the ropes, Daniels goes for the Angel's Wings but Lethal hits a hurricanrana, enziguri by Lethal. Bodyslam. He's going for the elbow. Skipper is on the apron. Daniels gets to his feet and slaps Lethal in the face. He takes Lethal off the top and gets a nearfall. Dragon Clutch from Senshi. Guru plancha on Triple X. Lethal combination. 1, 2, 3. Winner: Jay Lethal (2 and a half stars. Nice short match.)

Nash arrives at the red carpet. He talks about Karen being a great actress.

Commercial.

Pacman and Killings come into Cornette's office. Killings threatens Cornette and Morgan gets in his face. They leave the office.

Angle's music hits. The Angles come out with all his titles. It is time for the first Annual Angle awards. He lays out all of his titles and holds up the arm of Mrs. Angle.
Tonight is a night to celebrate for suckering in all the idiots so deep. The greatest husband and wife team in sports entertainment, Karen and Kurt Angle. He shows a video recap of the whole angle (no pun intended).
Best Supporting Actor: Kevin Nash and Angle's bestfriend Trademarc
Best Actress: Karen Angle
She thanks all of simpletons of the impact zone. Without their stupidity this wouldn't be possible. And the sucker Samoa Joe.
Cornette comes down to the ring. At No Surrender, Kurt Angle will have to defend all three of his TNA titles. Against Lethal, Christian or Abyss and the tag titles against Team Pacman. Angle goes insane and throws the set around the ring. Morgan gets in his face. And we go to commercial...

Commercial.

Borash backstage. He has an inside scoop about Pacman on TNA mobile. Christian gets mad. He is at his breaking point. He is going to get the job done on his own tonight. No Tomko, no AJ. He says he is the real champ. Joe comes out and gets pissed. He got screwed out of five titles.

Main Event: Christian Cage vs Abyss in a First Blood Match

Christian attacks Abyss from behind. Abyss throws him in the air. Christian dodges him in the corner. He bites the face of Abyss. It's first blood. Abyss continuously overpowers Cage. Ass to the face in the corner. Abyss pounds away at Christians face and tries to bust Christian face open. Christian drop toe holds Abyss into the steel steps.

Commercial.

Christian is attacking Abyss with a chair when we return from the break. Tomko nearly stabbed Abyss with a screwdriver during the break. Christian misses a chairshot. He avoids the Shock Treatment. Abyss gets him up again, another counter. Abyss punches the chair into Christian's face. Abyss has the chair now. Christian takes him down. Chair to the face. Christian heads to the top but Abyss counters. Christian counters and sends Abyss into a chair in the corner. AJ comes down to the ring looking for weapons he gets a barbed wire bat. Samoa Joe chases AJ away with a chair. Joe hits Christian with a chair and then Abyss hits Christian with another chair. Christian is busted open. Abyss is your winner. Winner: Abyss ( 2 stars. Okay match. I don't really like first blood matches. This one was okay.)

Angle hits the ring and beats down Abyss. He needs every advantage he can get for No Surrender. Chair shots to Abyss. Cornette is pissed. Now next week it's the Steiners vs Angle in a handicap match. If they win they get 5 minutes in the ring with Karen Angle.

That's another edition of TNA impact. I was slightly destracted this week, sorry if it hindered my report. It was a decent show. 2 and a half stars. I'll be back next week.