IMPACT

May 3, 2007
Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida
thanks to: pwtorch.com
 

We open with a recap of Jeff Jarrett's babyface promo at the beginning of last

We open with a recap of Jeff Jarrett revealing himself as Eric Young's friend on last week's show. They showed the double run-ins during Sting-Kurt Angle, then Christian-Sting.

After the pyro opening, Sting came out to start things off. Suddenly, Kurt Angle hit the ring with a chair and tried to jump Sting, but officials separated them in opposite corners.

Backstage, Jeremy Borash found Christian Cage watching two pathetic grown men fighting over him. That’s what he said. Christian said these two morons are making it easy on him.

Back in the ring, Angle cursed at Sting, then Sting said Angle's problem is with Christian, not him. Angle maintained that his problem is with him, not Christian. Sting said Angle cost him in the title match. Christian Cage then walked out on stage and asked if they could all just get along. Christian said Kurt Angle is an a--hole, and the fans popped. He said both men have a point, though. He said they don't need any controversy and they can solve the problem with a tag match. Sting & Angle vs. Christian & A.J. Styles in a No DQ match. And if either one of them scores the pin for his team, that man would get the title shot at Sacrifice. Sting and Angle remained expressionless. Christian then said if either him or Styles wins tonight, neither Angle nor Sting would receive the title shot. Sting answered that he doesn't need the roll the dice because he already his title shot. Angle then asked Sting if he's an Icon or a (bleep). Sting told Angle not to let his mouth over-run his rear end. He agreed to the match and Christian smiling, having watched the top two babyfaces just expose each other's flaws.

Backstage, Team 3D stood by with Leticia, who held a mic. Ray said they're 20-time champions and they're going to defend the belts with a nice, long title run. He said they're putting the belts on the line at Sacrifice in a three-way with LAX and Steiner & Tomko.

[Commercial Break]

1 -- TEAM 3D (BROTHER & BROTHER DEVON) vs. RHINO & SAMOA JOE -- NWA Tag Title match -- non-title match

I believe there was a "3D sucks" chant to start the match. The fans then chanted "Let's go Rhino," so Rhino tagged out to Joe, who squared off with Ray. Joe landed his kick and slap combo on Ray, but missed with a knee drop. Ray then hit a German suplex on Joe, but Joe answered right back with a t-bone suplex. They countered each other's moves, then had a stand off to a strong crowd pop. That's the best Ray's looked in the ring for a 45-second sequence in months. After the stand-off, Ray hit a fallaway suplex on Joe, followed by Rock Bottom. Rhino then popped into the ring and dropped Ray with a Gore. Christopher Daniels then hit the ring and KO'ed Rhino with a baseball bat. He jabbed Devon in the gut, and the ref called for the bell.

Daniels tried to leave the ring, but Joe put him a rear naked choke and tossed him back into the ring. Devon gave Daniels a diving headbutt to the crotch, then all four men called for a table for four. Rhino then Gored Daniels right through a table in the corner and all four men stood tall in the ring.

WINNER: Match thrown out in 3:00. Poor Daniels. Just a complete and utter squash of a wrestler who's been booked at the Brother Runt level of fodder for the semi-main event stars. The match itself was a great three minutes of action. Of course, this is TNA, so we only got three minutes of action. It was the first time in months that Joe has looked like the killer tweener that could dominate TNA's heavyweight division. (*1/4)

Backstage, Borash was with Christian and Styles, who complained about Christian volunteering him for another match. Christian told him to calm down and said when they beat Angle & Sting, that leaves one man with the opportunity for the NWA Title. Styles still didn't like what he heard, and slammed his fist into the locker room. Christian calmed him down again and they shared a moment about their hoods and chest hair. Seriously. Christian explained in no uncertain terms that Styles would be #1 Contender if they win the tag match. Styles went in for a tentative hug, then left. Christian was puzzled.

[Commercial Break]

They showed a recap of the Eric Young/-Robert Roode relationship, with Jeff Jarrett returning last week to save Young.

In the ring, Ms. Brooks was in a neck brace, and Roode said he's not a happy man. He said he hates Young's guts and he's going to fire him right now. Jim Cornette answered Roode and told him to listen to him. He sent Jarrett home because he's not going to have men beating up women in TNA, even if it was deserved. He said the only people that should be fired are Roode and his flotation floozy. Cornette then explained that when Young signed a contract with Roode, he breached his TNA contract. He then explained that when Young signed with Roode, it made Roode guilty of tampering with a TNA-contracted talent. Cornette suggested that Roode drop the deal with Young so no one has to go to court. I think it's about time for a graphic explaining the contract deal.

Roode called Cornette's bluff and shot back that Cornette should have done something about the Young situation a long time ago if he was this concerned about the legal ramifications. Roode placed a hard finger on Cornette, and Cornette answered back with a hard finger jab, so Roode jumped Cornette. He told him never to put his hands on him again. Eric Young then hit the ring and they exchanged right hand blows. Young took the upper hand, then went under the ring and retrieved a guitar. Back in the ring, Roode blocked a guitar shot and hit a spike DDT. Beautiful execution. Roode then tore up Young with right hand blows before Brooks pulled out the previously used handcuffs and Roode cuffed Young to the corner. Brooks paint brushed Young across the face, then Roode picked up the guitar and the mic. And the chant I thought I would never ever hear in my life: "We want Jarrett." Roode paused in between heavy breaths and told Young, "It pays to be Roode." He then whacked Young across the head with a guitar shot. Security intervened to uncuff Young, then Cornette re-entered the ring. Cornette said he's not going to fire Roode; he's going to put him in a match against Jeff Jarrett at Sacrifice. Roode, whose hair was suddenly back in place, had no problem with that. Another hot segment with the players involved in Jeff Jarrett's storyline.

[Commercial Break]

They recapped the previous segment, then Tenay plugged Roode vs. Jarrett. Ringside, Don West talked about what happened to Abyss two weeks ago. He said no one in TNA has been in contact with Abyss since the incident. James Mitchell then did a voice-over as they recapped footage of Abyss taking the pounding. Mitchell said that without him, Abyss was nothing. "I made Abyss a World champion." He said Abyss was an emotionally insecure, directionless, bumbling man child. And now that he's discarded Abyss, he's ready to move on to bigger and better things. Shoot, man.

2 -- GAIL KIM vs. JACKIE MOORE -- Street fight match

They brawled ringside to start the "match" and Jackie knocked down Gail with a right hand blow. They re-entered the ring and Gail tossed weapons into the ring. She placed a trashcan over Jackie's head, then smashed the can into Jackie's head with a weapon. She rolled Jackie over and made a cover for a nearfall. Jackie quickly recovered and nailed Gail with a cane shot to the gut. Gail, though, found a red bra and choked Jackie across the throat. Jackie recovered and retrieved a chair, but Gail dropkicked the chair into Jackie's face, knocking Jackie out. She then made the cover for the win.

Afterward, James Storm came to the ring with beer in hand and distracted Gail to let Jackie recover and punch Gail from behind. Jackie dropped Gail with a DDT, then the Pirate Chris Harris hit the ring and cut off Storm. He then ripped off the eye patch and tossed it at Storm. The scales have been lifted! Harris gave Storm a spinebuster, then Storm bailed to the outside. Tenay said Harris vs. Storm has been signed for a Texas Death Match at Sacrifice.

WINNER: Gail in 4:00. As usual, the story was the post-match activity. Decent action in the ring, with the women showing good passion during their fight. (*)

Backstage, Christy Hemme was grossed out by the smell emitted from VKM. She said she would have something foul at Sacrifice for VKM. Well, it has been a decade since Sunny had a little dip in the slop with the Godwinns. Kip James then scared everyone away by flashing his arm pit.

[Commercial Break. First, it was Hemme and Kip discussing foul odors. Now, a genital herpes commercial and two guys urinating on each other. That's quality TV, folks.]

Eye Spy this week recapped Chris Sabin falling out of a tree last week. Mr. Backlund, in his purple short shorts, then taught Sabin a lesson or two with a few single leg takedowns. Sabin apologized profusely, then Alex Shelley dropped the camera and started reading some book. Completely random.

Tenay and West broke down the Sacrifice PPV card.

3 -- NWA champion CHRISTIAN CAGE & A.J. STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE & STING -- No DQ match

Jim Cornette was ringside for commentary. He gave us a great money line that he could take Robert Roode to court, but that wouldn’t be half as bad as what Jarrett does to Roode at the PPV. That should have been the most important line of the show, but it was turned into a simple segue from one storyline to the main event match. The bell sounded and Angle ran over Christian with a shoulderblock. They exchanged chops in the corner, then Angle caught Christian in mid-air with a back body drop. Sting came in and knocked down Christian with a dropkick, then he press slammed him to the mat. Styles quickly regained the advantage for his team by crotching Sting hard into the ringpost. The heels then worked on Sting as they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from the break, the heels were in control again. Angle finally took a hot tag and suplexed everyone in sight. Sting then stacked up the heels and hit a dual Stinger splash. He dropped Christian with the Scorpion death drop, but Angle broke up the pin attempt. They had a face-to-face exchange, then Styles entered the ring and took a double clothesline. Sting pointed at the lifeless body of Styles and told him to take the pin. With the delay, Christian smashed Sting from behind with a steel chair. Christian and Styles went for a conchairto on Angle, but Angle ducked. He then cleared Christian out of the ring. Suddenly, Angle and Styles found themselves grabbing one of Styles's ankles in the ankle lock hold. Styles fought the hold for a few seconds before tapping out with both hands. Angle and Sting turned to look at each other, then they finally released the hold and Cornette wondered aloud who should be the winner. The referee wouldn't raise a hand, so Cornette asked who Styles tapped out to. No one had an answer, so Cornette booked a three-way NWA Title match at Sacrifice.

WINNER: Sting & Angle simultaneously in 7:00. A lot of confusion on this show, summed up by no one being able to make heads or tails of the finish. The dynamic between Angle and Sting makes for good TV, but the only important factor is whether it makes people want to see them in a title match with Christian on PPV. How TNA sells this PPV is the big question for the next week, and we'll see how the second set of tapings translates on TV to make people want to spend $30 in ten days. (*1/2)