IMPACT
IMPACT
January 4, 2007
Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida
thanks to: pwtorch.com
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We start with a recap from last week when Samoa Joe won Mr. TNA 2006, then Kurt
Angle snapped a random woman's ankle.
They cut to Joe storming/hobbling into Jim Cornette's office demanding a match.
Cornette said he knows how Joe feels, but he can't give him a match with him. He
said Joe needs to leave the building. Joe said he's not here to hurt TNA or
Cornette; he's here to hurt Angle, who started something that he's ready to
finish. Are we on pace for Joe-Angle XII at the end of the year?
Mike Tenay talked about the Final Resolution PPV main events like they were
happening on the show this week. He then said Cornette is adding stips to the
NWA Title match tonight.
(1) ROBERT ROODE (w/Ms. Brooks) vs. RHINO. Roode sent Brooks to the back before
he walked to the ring. Rhino came out and Tenay said Rhino learned a lesson that
not everyone wants your help. Roode and Rhino locked up with Roode asking Rhino
who's the greatest. Rhino slapped him in the face as a response. Tenay and West
spoke in code about Brooks using her assets to lure Eric Young. Tenay, speaking
the 'Net, said Roode hopes to get the rub bringing Eric Young to his side. As
Roode set up for the Gore, Brooks came to ringside and tried to distract Rhino,
but it didn't work. Roode and Brooks nearly collided on the apron, then Rhino
rolled up Roode for the win. Afterward, Roode chewed out Brooks. A.J. Styles
then jumped Rhino on the entrance ramp. In the ring, Rhino gave Styles a
powerslam and set up for the Gore, but Roode tripped up Rhino from the floor.
Styles and Roode worked together on Rhino, with Styles giving Rhino the Styles
Clash. Styles posed for the hard camera and did a Superstar Graham bicep pose,
revealing a farmer's tan. This show automatically gets a thumbs up now. Roode
and Styles smacked fists. WINNER: RHINO IN 3:00. Let 2007 be the year of Roode
Inc. with Roode and Styles heading up the board. Inconsequential match, but
great post-match angle.
Borash was outside of Cornette's office when Eric Young popped into the shot. He
said his "friend" has a problem with a woman trying to get in his pants. Borash
asked if it was Brooks. Young said he couldn't name people or be specific. Young
said his friend needs help dealing the woman because he's not...experienced.
Borash asked if he's a virgin. Young corrected Borash and said he's not from
Kansas. Brooks then walked into the shot with her hair up and a suit jacket on.
Boy, she changed quite quickly. Brooks told Young to have what she asked for
ready by next week.
[Commercial Break]
Borash found Joe in his personal locker room. Borash, in his low-tone voice,
asked Joe why he's still in the building. "ANGLE!" Joe screamed. Good set-up
from Borash. Joe then said Angle made things personal when he hurt someone close
to him. And she is? Name? Date of birth? Relationship? Anything? Joe said he
wouldn't rest until his work is done taking out Angle.
[Q2]
As VKM's music hit, Tenay said it's Joe's girlfriend. Finally, some info on the
relationship. VKM walked out in sombreros and ponchos. Tenay said V.K.M. hasn't
answered the challenge from VKM. "We're still waiting," Tenay said. Well, keep
waiting. B.G. took the mic and said it's been four weeks with no response from
Vince McMahon. He said the longer Vince ignores it, the bigger the problem
becomes. Kip entered the ring with a bullhorn. They struggled over the horn for
several moments, allowing Tenay and West to exchange awkward innuendos. B.G.
said Operation: WWE Live Event was not a complete success or failure. They piped
in some awkward crowd noises like a cheap sitcom. B.G. said it's time to step it
up a notch. He called out Michael Hickenbottom for this Wednesday in San Antonio
at the Alamo at high noon. B.G. said they would be the idiots wearing sombreros
and ponchos. He said they would have the footage next week.
Eye Spy brought us Musical Chairs for the PCS this week. Yes! Jay Lethal said
there's no music. Nash sang Amazing Grace on a bullhorn. The music stopped and
Lethal was eliminated after he kept complaining in Nash's face. Senshi wouldn't
get up in the next round, so Nash blew him out of his chair. It came down to
Dutt, Starr, and Shelley. They sang the "Adrenaline Rush" song. Starr won with
help from Nash, who threw in an extra verse on a song after initially stopping.
[Commercial Break]
Borash talked to Gail Kim earlier in the day to ask her about the AMW split.
Gail said it was a rollercoaster of emotions and they dealt with problems as a
team, but then James Storm did something without any explanation. Storm then
whistled his way into the interview and pulled up a chair. He said he wanted to
hear what Gail was saying behind her back. Storm said TNA doesn't even have a
Women's division and the only women he sees around here are Gail and Borash.
Storm then pulled Borash out of the camera shot. He said he brought in Gail to
be his manager, but he could send her back to the rice patties if she didn't
co-operate with him. Storm told her she has seven days. Apparently, there's a
loose end that will be resolved next week.
Brother Runt jumped Homicide as he walked to the ring for a match. Here's
Homicide taking a beating from superman Brother Runt. Wonderful. Homicide then
gave Runt a back body drop onto the entrance ramp and retrieved a ladder. He
slammed the ladder into Runt's face, then brought the ladder into the ring. Runt
chased him into the ring to apparently start a match.
[Q3]
2 -- HOMICIDE VS. BROTHER RUNT in some sort of Lucha match that resembled a
Lucha match about as much as the Royal Rumble would. Homicide tried to give Runt
a move, but Runt countered into the Acid Drop. They focused on a cut on Runt's
head. Konnan then distracted the referee, allowing Hernandez to give Runt a
Border Toss on the ladder for Homicide to make the pin for win. Homicide tried
to give Runt a Copkiller after the match, but Brother Ray and Brother Devon made
the save. WINNER: HOMICIDE IN 2:00. LAX is dead. Just plain dead. With Konnan
out of the picture, who will distract the referee when Homicide faces Shark Boy,
D-Ray 3000, or Norman Smiley?
They did a back-and-forth pre-tape promo with Jerry Lynn, Chris Sabin, and
Christopher Daniels. Lynn said neither Sabin nor Daniels have ever had to live
off a jar of peanut butter or sleep on the side of the freeway in between shows
to make a living. Daniels said he's the greatest X Division champion of
all-time.
[Commercial Break]
Mike Tenay introduced some video footage courtesy of Jim Mitchell that would be
disturbing. They showed James Mitchell dragging Abyss to the prison last night.
He said they were going to get something on the record. He threw Abyss down to
the ground as Abyss screamed like the Tazmanian Devil on coke. Mitchell said
Tomko and Christian know only one sliver of what he knows. He said he has a
story to tell of "blood, horror, betrayal, unspeakable, unmentionable sin,
unforgivable sins". He threatened Abyss to not make him come back to the prison.
Mitchell said Abyss has tried to hide a secret for sixteen years, and he's kept
the secret for eighteen months, but now Abyss wants to make him look like an
idiot. Abyss then grabbed Mitchell by the throat and threw him into the chain
link fence. It's a good thing Mitchell made a full recovery to deliver the
footage.
Christian and Tomko walked out, then Jim Cornette appeared on the video screen
from his office. He said Tomko has interfered in all of Christian's matches,
therefore, in the three-way NWA Title match at the PPV, Tomko would be barred
from ringside. And what are the consequences? He's fired? He loses future
bookings? Shaves the goatee? It's just empty words and an empty promise until
Cornette actually enforces a stipulation. Kurt Angle walked out, then Samoa Joe
jumped him on the entrance ramp from behind. This is exactly why no one can take
Cornette seriously as an authority figure because he told Joe to leave the
building, yet Joe shows up and beats down Angle. Angle then took off his ring
jacket and tried to choke out Joe, but Joe threw him into the announce table.
Security finally separated both men as Christian and Tomko waited in the ring
for some sort of match. Apparently, it's Angle-Christian in the main event,
which means TNA is giving away their first TNA singles match with absolutely no
hype and no money on the table.
[Commercial Break]
[Q4]
They came back with Joe and Angle still brawling. Cornette showed up and said
security needs to protect the fans, but Angle and Joe can keep fighting. So now
Cornette is a flip-flopper. Christian and Tomko walked out of the ring as
Cornette pointed in all sorts of directions. The camera went to the outside
where Joe and Angle fought near the arena entrance. Angle choked Joe with his
t-shirt as fans chanted from a few feet away. Joe blocked an Anklelock attempt,
then Angle threw him into the wall. Joe retrieved a chair and smashed it over
Angle's head. Joe was slow on the attack, allowing Angle to put Joe in the
Anklelock. Joe shoved Angle off and into a door, then he repeatedly slammed the
back of Angle's head into the door. They brawled down a side hallway where Angle
slammed a table over Joe's back. Joe then whipped Angle through the door on the
opposite end of the hallway and took him to the other side of the building. Don
Harris finally separated them as they came too close to the production truck.
There was a giant clown in the background as the fight continued. All this
needed was a fight on the Men in Black ride. I love that TNA stayed in the
moment for an entire segment and let the brawl air unedited without the usual
choppiness found in pre-tape videos.
[Commercial Break]
Back ringside, Cornette was trying to calm down Angle. West was looking around
for someone or something. Maybe an alien just landed in the building. Samoa Joe
then ran to ringside and kept the brawl alive as security tried to intervene.
Cornette screamed at both men that if they want to fight that bad, he was
booking a 30-minute iron man match for Final Resolution. Christian Cage then
jumped Angle from behind and Tomko forced the bell to ring. Angle hit a German
suplex, then Tomko hit the ring and jumped Angle. I didn't hear a DQ bell, so
who knows what's going on. The lights went out, then came back on and Sting
cleared Christian to the outside. Tomko rolled out of the ring, then Sting and
Angle stood together. Don West said this was the craziest Impact he's ever seen.
Very rushed at the end, with Sting coming out of nowhere for a 15-second cameo.
They tried to do too much at once, and finishing with Part 2 of the Joe-Angle
brawl would have had more resonance to close the show. Still, the Joe-Angle
brawl was a strong thumbs up.