IMPACT

April 1, 2006
Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida

thanks to lordsofpain.net for results

PROMO: TEAM CANADA
- Show opens with another "stirring" rendetion of Oh Canada.
- Team 3D rush out and it's brawl city, brawl state.
- Crowd wants tables.
- Eric Young gets a headbutt to the crotch.
- A1 & Petey run out and double-team 3D, then drape the flags over their prone frame.
- D'Amore cuts a promo on the fans, stating he doesn't respect America.
PROMO: JEFF JARRETT
- Jarrett discusses Lethal Lockdown against Sting.

NWA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: THE JAMES GANG vs. AMERICA'S MOST WANTED (champion, w/ Gail Kim & Jackie Gayda)
- B.G. cuts the obligatory sing-along promo, complete with "Brokeback Mountain" reference.
- Has anyone actually even SEEN that movie?
- AMW pours beer on and humiliates Jackie before the bell.
- Double avalanche by Kip results in AMW landing on each other in less-than-heterosexual fashion.
- More Brokeback Mountain comments by West.
- Jackie trips Chris Harris!
- Gail slaps Jackie and all hell has broken loose.
- Rocker dropper by Kip but Storm tries to break it up with a beer bottle.
- As Rudy Charles forces Storm out of the ring, Konnan whacks Kip with the slapjack.
- Harris pins Kip to win it.
- Bullet Bob Armstrong comes out and his arm wrestling match next week is hyped.

VIDEO PACKAGE: CHRISTIAN CAGE, ABYSS, FATHER JAMES MITCHELL & ALEX SHELLEY
- The feud thus far is recapped with clips of Part One of Shelley's "documentary".
- Mike Tenay says Part One was creepy, but Part Two is "simply disturbing".
- Tease me more, you magnificent slut!
PROMO: ABYSS & FATHER JAMES MITCHELL
- In the ring with Borash.
- Mitchell criticizes Christian Cage for leaving his wife alone and vulnerable.
- He says Christian has yet to answer the challenge so it's time to show Part Two of the documentary.
- Video shot from Cage's front yard airs with Abyss attacking Christian on his doorstep.
- Fight spills into the house and Cage hits Abyss with an empty water bottle.
- Abyss throws Christian into thr pool and holds his head under water.
- Damn, Christian has a nice house. Indoor pool? The Captain Charisma T-shirt must have sold.
- Mitchell leaves Cage laying in a heap on the edge of the pool.
- The screen reads "To Be Continued? April 23".
- Don West gets up and walks away from the booth, completely disgusted.
- WWE files a lawsuit, claiming infringement on the "In Your House" trademark.

MATCH: SAMOA JOE vs. ALEX SHELLEY vs. SONJAY DUTT vs. CHRIS SABIN
- Winner becomes #1 contender for the X-Division Title.
- Christopher Daniels is on commentary.
- Shelley & Sonjay start off.
- Double tag brings in Joe & Sabin.
- Sonjay in with a flipping rana on Joe as everyone's favorite mid-match commercial begins.

- Back to the action with Joe breaking up a Dutt pin on Alex.
- Sabin tags in and goes to work on Shelley.
- Sabin escapes a knee in the corner and tags in Dutt to chucks Shelley out of the ring.
- Joe kills Dutt with a muscle buster and gets the pin.
- Daniels jumps over the broadcast table and tears into Joe.
- Daniels/Joe Version 105 is on April 13th, Impact's first thursday night broadcast.
PROMO: JEFF JARRETT & SCOTT STEINER
- They're coming to call Sting out!
- Oh no!

VIDEO PACKAGE: SCOTT STEINER & STING
- The Destination X beat-down and Sting's comments about it are rehashed in ultra-sexy video package fashion.
PROMO: THE ARMY
- They're in the ring and Jarrett has the stick.
- They're tired of waiting.
- Lights out!
- Rhyno and The James Gang are in the stands, saying the mind games have just begun.
- Ron Killings, Shark Boy, Norman Smiley & Chase Stevens are across the arena!
- Jeff reminds us it's not a rap concert.
- A.J. Styles, Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal & Chris Sabin! It's a unified TNA!
- Sting appears in the ring and The Army goes scrambling for safety.
- The Army B-Team (Team Canada & Shelley) rush out and get beat-down.
- Steiner returns and faces off with Sting.
- All hell breaks loose and Sting and TNA fight off The Army.
- Show ends with Sting and TNA standing tall and Sting with plenty of partners to pick from.