IMPACT

March 4, 2006
Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida

thanks to pwtorch for results

- With no UFC lead-in, we opened with clips from last week when Christian punched Monty Brown in the crotch, Bullet Bob scared three street thugs, and Shelley followed Sting around SoCal.

- Mike Tenay promoted the Ultimate X match at Destination X. He said Joe, Styles, and Daniels were scheduled for the main event. (Along with that one guy, Shannon Moore.)

1 -- ABYSS (w/James Mitchell) & AMERICA'S MOST WANTED (CHRIS HARRIS & JAMES STORM) & JEFF JARRETT (w/Gail Kim and Jackie Gayda) vs. NORMAN SMILEY & CASSIDY RILEY & SHARK BOY & BUCK QUARTERMAIN

Jackie reluctantly walked to the ring behind Jarrett and Gail. Gail threw AMW's ring jackets on Jackie's face. After a nearly three-minute ring introduction, we went to the ring where the babyfaces were already ready. After brief brawling, Smiley and Jarrett spilled into the ring. Smiley did the big wiggle then grinded Jarrett's backside. Viscera would have been proud. Abyss caught Smiley from behind and hit the Black Hole Slam. Jarrett prevented Abyss from making the pin. He hit the Stroke then made the cover on Smiley for the win.

Afterwards, Alex Shelley walked in the ring with a tape in hand. Jarrett took the VHS tape and told Tenay and West that he has proof that Sting is a quitter. Team Canada celebrated with the heels. Eric Young stood on the entrance ramp with a very dazed look on his face. He looked like a mental patient looking for the quickest exit out of the asylum. And that's a complement to his character. Everyone left the entrance ramp except Eric and Shelley. Shelley whispered something in Eric's year as if Shelley didn't actually get the confession from Sting.

WINNERS: Jarrett & AMW & Abyss at 1:43. All storyline. Good to see Smiley in TNA since he's always entertaining.

[Commercial Break]

- Jeremy Borash was backstage with Matt Bentley and Traci. Borash talked about Bentley's heel turn on Hoyt on...Xplosion. This must have been Bentley's tenth turn in the last two years. Bentley called himself a maverick who lives by his own rules. Jarrett and Co. interrupted the promo. Jarrett said they were having another viewing party. Jackie didn't want to participate in the viewing party. Gail reminded Jackie that she could put her sexual videotape on the Internet. Jackie gave in and obliged to get ready for the viewing party. Jarrett couldn't find the Sting videotape or Eric Young. They went to play a game of hide and go seek. Bentley and Traci were left standing next to Borash.

- Tenay ran down the Destination X card.

2 -- LANCE HOYT vs. KENNY KING

We saw clips from Xplosion when Bentley turned on Hoyt and busted him open. Tenay said Hoyt and "Maverick Matt" - if you live in Houston, that sounds too close to Mattress Mack - will wrestle at the PPV. Hoyt attacked King before the opening bell. The fans actually chanted, "Kenny, Kenny." Hoyt hit a one handed stomach-grip chokeslam - the Texas Towerbomb. The fans booed. Hoyt made the cover for the win.

WINNER: Lance Hoyt at 1:11. The crowd has completely turned on Hoyt after he was the golden child of the Impact zone last year. TNA's poor booking and flippant use of Hoyt over the last six months has come back to bite this storyline with Hoyt and Bentley.

- Konnan grabbed a microphone and said they were going to beat up another member of the Armstrong family. Machete and Homicide dragged B.G. James to the announce table area. Tenay said they were beating up B.G. when in fact they were just holding him. Kip James made the save. B.G. miraculously recovered and chased after LAX.

[Commercial Break]

- We saw the premiere of Ron Killings's "what's up" music video. The third chapter in the weekly series on Killings's story.

3 -- TEAM CANADA (BOBBY ROODE & PETEY WILLIAMS & ERIC YOUNG w/Scott D'Amore) vs. JAY LETHAL & CHRIS SABIN & SONJAY DUTT

Eric Young pointed to his crotch where he was storing the Sting videotape. Eric used his Canada jersey to cover his crotch. Sabin opened up with drop kicks within the first minute. Lethal - the new golden child of the Impact zone - tagged in and went to work on Petey. Lethal was distracted by Canada. Petey took advantage with a release German Suplex. The heels worked over Lethal in their corner. At 2:55, Jarrett walked to the ring. He pointed at Eric's crotch. Eric covered himself up. Dutt took a hot tag at 3:30. Dutt hit a moonsault on Petey for a nearfall. Sabin hit a Tornado DDT on Roode. The babyfaces knocked Eric Young off the apron. Jarrett grabbed the tape and walked off. In the ring, Dutt had the visual three count on Petey, but the referee was distracted. Petey eventually shoved Dutt to the heel corner. Dutt took a blow to the face from Roode. Petey hit the Canadian Destroyer and scored the pin on Dutt.

WINNERS: Team Canada at 4:40. Formula tag match. Good action at times, but it's the same match with no variety.

[Commercial Break]

- We saw a video recap of Christian's NWA Title victory at Against All Odds. We saw the generic promo he cut the week after winning the belt. We saw yet another clip of Christian's middle school "Bangkok" comment on Brown.

- Jeremy Borash was backstage with Christian. Christian told Borash to be quiet and listen to the crowd. He rhetorically asked if he would make a successful first title defense. James Mitchell interrupted and said Christian stole Abyss's title opportunity. Mitchell told Christian to either give Abyss a title shot or take a doomsday device. Monty Brown attacked Christian before he could answer. They brawled through the backstage area to the entrance ramp. Brown landed hard right hands. Christian went for an attack, but Brown sidestepped him. As a result, Christian crashed into the retaining wall where Abyss threw Rhino through last week. Christian stumbled backwards and Brown pounced Christian off the stage. Christian fell rib-first onto a guardrail on the floor. Christian fell down and held his ribs. As I predicted, Rhino no-sold last week's wall-crash and ran over to Christian. He checked on the fallen champion.

[Commercial Break]

- Before the viewing party commenced, a disclaimer aired: "Spike TV does not condone the following behavior". Jarrett congratulated Shelley on his work. Shelley wasn't so quick to accept praise, as if he knew he didn't get what Jarrett wanted. Jarrett interrupted and went to B-roll. We went to the video - taped last week - where Shelley narrated clips while driving along a SoCal freeway behind Sting. We saw clips from Sting at the golf course, at school, and pulling out of a parking lot. Sting nearly crashed into Shelley's car. He jumped out of his SUV and confronted Shelley. The audio was bleeped. He said this wasn't funny. He said Jarrett crossed the line sending someone to film him and his family. He warned Jarrett that he would be at the Destination X PPV as Steve Borden, not Sting. Sting never acknowledged Shelley by name. It wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't know Shelley's name.

Back in Jarrett headquarters, the camera panned the locker room. Everyone, except for Jackie, had a look of complete shock on his or her faces. Jackie giggled. Jarrett, who was holding his head in his hands, asked Shelley why he didn't tell him about the footage ahead of time. "It crossed my mind," Shelley said. Eric Young wasn't sure how to handle the situation.

4 -- SAMOA JOE & SHANNON MOORE vs. A.J. STYLES & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

Daniels and Styles dominated early on, clearing Joe and Shannon to the outside at 1:35.

[Commercial Break]

Joe fought out of a double team suplex attempt. Styles became frustrated. He left the ring, leaving Daniels in the ring to take a stiff chop to the chest. Tenay and West continued to talk about the Sting-Jarrett storyline, completely ignoring the X Division match. Joe smashed Styles in the face with a big boot. He delivered a flying sentaun splash then stood over his fallen prey. Tenay plugged a cover story on Joe in PWI. Shannon took a tag and accidentally ran into Joe. Styles took advantage by hitting a spin kick on Shannon. Daniels cleared Joe to the outside. Styles hit a flying somersault dive on Joe on the outside. In the ring, Daniels nearly scored a pin with a quick roll up. Joe blind tagged himself into the ring. Daniels set up for the Angel's Wings on Shannon. However, Joe entered the ring and delivered a hard clothesline on Daniels. He made the cover for the win.

Afterwards, Styles took the X Division Title belt and hung it above the ring on the Ultimate X cables. Joe demanded his belt back. Styles pointed up at the belt as if to say, "come and get it." Joe frothed at the mouth and convulsed as Daniels and Styles pointed up at the belt.

WINNERS: Joe & Shannon at 9:40. The match was noticeably overshadowed by the Sting storyline. Decent action, but it felt rushed because of the usual time constraints. Good post-match build up for the Ultimate X match at the PPV.