thanks to pwtorch
August 13, 2006
 

Kenny & Nicky (of The Spirit Squad) defeated Patrick Bentley & Adam Armor Jonathon Coachman and Todd Grisham put over SummerSlam to start this episode off. Coach admits he’s not feeling too well. He also wants Lillian Garcia to shut up while he’s talking. Grish thinks the Spirit Squad could be more creative. Kenny and Bentley start (At least I think it’s Patrick Bentley. No one ever says.) Kenny beats on Bentley and tags in Nicky. Nicky rubs his taped up wrist on Bentley’s face. That may or may not hurt, but it looks unsanitary as hell. Scoop slam by Nicky and he tags in Kenny. They do a cheer-like double-team maneuver on Bentley. Kenny covers but Armor breaks it up at two. More generic beating on Bentley and Kenny tags in Nicky. Double-team suplex by the Squadders and Nicky yells at Bentley while choking him. Bentley sidesteps a corner splash and hot tags Armor who dodges an attack by Nicky but gets a knee to the back by Kenny. Twirling fireman’s carry by Nicky followed by a nice neckbreaker then he tags in Kenny. Mr. Doane goes up top for that sweet leg drop of his. One giant leap gets him three slaps on the mat and the Spirit Squad remain Tag Team Champions. Coach calls them the MVPs of 2006.

Conversation Pieces: Put over DX and where does it get you? The opening match on Heat, I guess. At least they’re not getting poo flung on them.

Commercial for SummerSlam. They say it’s the biggest party of the summer. Kurt Angle getting hit with a pie is the only redeeming thing about that bit. I swear, I could be entertained by Angle working a Jumble. As long as he was aggressively working it, mind you.

Matt Striker defeated Donald Lamb The ringing bell means the Teacher is in and Striker asks about everyone’s summer vacation. He wants school to be year-round. The kids boo him for bringing that up. Striker starts off with his usual dizzying array of what appears to be technical wrestling but is, in actuality, utter nonsense. He just spins around on the guy’s back and then clamps on a front facelock. He moves fast so it looks kind-of cool. It’s just not actually doing anything. Coach apologizes for something (I didn’t catch what) but his excuse is that he is on medication. Lamb has a “5” on the back of his trunks. I’m more interested in what that signifies than I am in his wrestling. Lamb reverses a wristlock into one of his own but Striker uses flips himself over and throws Lamb into the ropes throat-first. Striker tangles Lamb up in the ropes (another set, not the ones Lamb was just throated on) and dropkicks him in the back of the head. Still caught up in the ropes, only now upside-down, Lamb is prone to a Striker baseball slide. This jars him from his precarious perching in the ropes. Unfortunately, he falls to the arena floor. Striker gets him back in the ring and covers him, but Lamb kicks at two. Grish makes a Dean Malenko comparison in reference to Striker. Striker locks in a submission hold. Lamb eventually breaks free but Striker kills any momentum he was building up. Striker kicks Lamb in the face (ooo, it sounded sick) and hits that rolling neckbreaker of his for the pin.

Conversation Pieces: Lamb didn’t even get an introduction. Bentley and Armor at least got their names said by Lillian Garcia. Not Lamb. All he gets is Grisham saying something about “this Lamb is being led to the slaughter.” He really said that. I’m liking what I see from Striker more and more. Despite my “utter nonsense” comment earlier, I think Striker’s style is entertaining and continues to improve. Grisham’s comparison to Malenko is fairly apt.

Commercial airs for the Diva Contest Finalists.

“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan & Eugene defeated Charles Evans & Derek Taylor Duggan starts his obligatory “U-S-A” chant before locking up with Evans. He tags in Eugene and they hit Evans with a double-back body splash. Eugene acts like Junkyard Dog and eventually bites Evans on the ass. Eugene misses a splash in the corner. Taylor interferes and trips up Eugene. Taylor tags in, attempts a pin on Eugene and gets two. Taylor tags in Evans who then tags Taylor right back in. Taylor hits a big sidewalk slam on Eugene and gets a two-count. Taylor tags in Evans who, again, tags Taylor back in. Taylor takes a swing at Duggan and Eugene hits a Stunner out of nowhere. With both men down, Duggan gets the hot tag and pounds on a tagged-in Evans. Duggan smashes the jobbers’ heads together. All men are in the ring. A double-shoulder tackle by Duggan and Eugene on Evans and they pick up the win.

Conversation Pieces: This match was painful to watch. Evans and Taylor tagged in and out at what appeared, at times, to be random. I really don’t think a slot on the roster should be taken up by Duggan when somebody new could fill the same role. Nick Dinsmore is wasted in his current gimmick. Then I think about where he would be if given something new and it would probably be on Heat or working dark matches. So it’s just as well he remains right where he is.

Commercial for the DX DVD. There’s lots of footage from the time before Shawn Michaels objected to stuff like poorly-simulated oral sex.

Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch defeated Val Venis & Snitsky Coach talks about Snitsky wanting to work on one of Venis’ porn films. Cade and Murdoch tear into Venis and Snitsky before the bell but Venis fights back with a double-arm flying clothesline. Venis and Cade start the match and Venis takes early control. Cade hits and flying knee and traps Venis in his corner. Cade and Murdoch rapidly tag in and out, taking advantage of double-teaming Venis. Murdoch ends up the legal man and Venis takes control with an atomic drop and an armdrag. Venis works over Murdoch’s arm and tags in Snitsky. This is where things get a little confusing – Murdoch slaps away the hand that Venis was using to hold on to Murdoch’s wrist at the same time Snitsky is tagging in. Venis looks genuinely confounded as Murdoch walks over to his corner. Murdoch tags in Cade and starts to freak out by shaking his head and the top rope. Snitsky stands by awkwardly as Cade yells at Murdoch to “Go get him!” and steps back out onto the apron. Murdoch turns around into a big hip toss by Gene-o. Snitsky slams him and hits a dropping elbow. A cover attempt by Snitsky only gets two. Venis tags in. Cade interferes when Venis tries to climb the ropes and pushes him down the floor. Cade tags in and hits a big neckbreaker. Venis kicks out of a cover attempt at two and fights back. Murdoch gets a blind tag and he and Cade nail an inverted atomic drop/running boot combo. Murdoch throws up the horns and covers Venis but only gets a two count. Cade tags in at a crucial moment and keeps Venis from tagging out. Cade tries a move from the second turnbuckle but Venis puts up his foot. Snitsky begs for the hot tag and gets it. Cade and Murdoch take advantage of the ref’s attention being elsewhere and hit Snitsky with a clothesline/knee tackle combination. Murdoch gets the pin and Coach confirms their undefeated streak is intact.