January 4, 2004
Thanks to pwtorch.com

(1)Steven Richards defeated Test Before the match Test attacked Stevie as he ogled Victoria (who can blame him?) as she walked slowly towards the ring. Test dominated this contest and at one point pulled Steven out of a sure three-count. Finally, Test locked Steven in the ropes and called for the boot by yelling “BOOT!” This prompted Victoria to enter the ring and slap Test. He laughed and kissed her. She smiled and acted crazy then kicked him in the nuts allowing Steven the opportunity for the roll-up pinfall victory and causing Coachman and Snow to talk in real high voices like 8 year olds. Oh the hilarity.

Talking Points: This is the new “HEAT feud of the uninteresting” with Victoria playing a role in this feud, it at least makes it somewhat noticeable. But it is just forgettable and lacking drama at this point with no clear-cut favorite. On the up side, Steven is proving me wrong as he forges ahead and seems to play the face well but the crowd has not caught on to this fact nor has the audio-sweetener. He is essentially the face in this mini-feud but neither the crowd nor the WWE seems to realize this point. But anything containing Victoria is a positive so I will be forgiving.

Before the match there is a commercial for the WWE music CD. Somewhere Randy Savage is quivering.

(2) Rico w/Ms. Jackie defeated Brandon Groom. This is a typical jobber match. Rico gets punished; kid comes back, making both Rico and Jackie look foolish only to come up short in the end. Some of the more interesting nuggets for this match are and these are in no particular order:
1) Rico’s music now has more bass added.
2) Rico was announced at 223 lbs. Um, no way.
3) Rico got all of his uncomfortable to heterosexual maneuvers in under the time of 2 minutes then decided to wrestle as a straight man.
4) Rico jumped off the top rope and the kid forgot to put his boot up. Rico adjusted and landed on the kids’ knees on purpose.

Talking Points: Standard jobber match featuring the poor man’s Adrian Adonis. Of course Rico is slimmer and more athletic but that means nothing if he is constantly used in such a wasted fashion. Jackie is decent looking past her chest that the two, with a gimmick overhaul, could do some decent business.

Recap #1: Kane/Booker TUm, this was as pointless the second time around as the first. The recap went as follows, Booker is punishing Randy Orton. Kane’s pyro goes off distracting Booker. Randy pins Booker. Kane comes in and chokeslams Booker as JR and the King go crazy! Wow, scintillating!

During the commercial Taco Bell tried enticing me with over a half a pound of food. Unfortunately it was all in the same burrito and I decided that was some nasty business! Seriously, who wants to eat a half-pound mixture of beans, rice and cheese, especially from Taco Bell, well, at least sober?

(3)Matt Hardy V.Heat defeated Tommy Dreamer. This was the typical Tommy dreamer match. The Heel controlled the majority of the match allowing Dreamer a few hope spots. Finally, the Heel, Hardy, goes for the Kendo stick, misses with it allowing one final hope spot before Dreamer is pinned by the Heel, Hardy. In this case Matt hit him with a second rope Twist of Fate for the pinfall. But the big news coming out of this match is the fact that Al Snow mentioned D-Lo Brown by name. Dreamer’s final hope spot came in the form of a back-body bomb or Shy-High. Coachman pointed out that Al Snow used that move when he was in the ring. Al said “I had and I made it so popular that D-Lo Brown, who used to be here, stole it from me and used it himself. I was shocked.


Talking Points: Finally a consistent reason to watch HEAT every week, well, I mean for everyone else since I have to watch the show. I am putting on the rose colored glasses for this match and Matt Hardy’s entire push. Build him up slowly running through all of the HEAT jobbers and them have him cut a killer promo on RAW in a few weeks about how there is no one left to defeat and throw him in a feud for the I.C. Title with Randy Orton. There, but in reality, what the hell is Matt hardy doing on HEAT? At least it was the main event, oh wait, no it wasn’t. At least D-lo Brown, a personal favorite to this day was mentioned and hopefully this means he may be jumping from Nashville but I doubt it. I mean why else mention a wrestler specifically by name?

Recap #2: Shawn Michaels forgets to lift his shoulder. They start the match near its end and Bischoff slides in the ring calling the action right down the middle. After several near falls Michaels lands the super kick and pins the champ. But wait, his shoulders were down also Bischoff explains and Michaels punches him. This hurts Bischoff’s feelings and jaw so he fires him. But wait, Steve Austin returns, rehires Shawn Michaels and gives him a rematch and all is right with the world. Oh yeah and a stunner on Easy E.

(3)Le Resistance defeated VeniStorm. As the match began a loud U.S.A. chant broke out rallying the Canadian team of VeniStorm. Of course no VeniStorm match is complete without some discount strippers and this group look down right average. The lack of a push is certainly hurting poor ole Val. During the action Al Snow admits he is no longer an active performer but he still has the trunks and can put them on at anytime. Sounded like begging to me. Also, they heavily plugged Mark Henry’s favor. Which started me wishing and hoping, which I will get in to at the end. This is a decent contest with the much-improved Le Resistance controlling the action until Val tags in Storm and he cleans house. Storm gives the Frenchie and UnAmerican all he can and Val soon joins the fracas. The end sequence was rather smooth and believable as Conway lifted Storm up for an atomic drop but Storm slipped off. Storm bounced into the ropes but Dupree grabbed and held his leg so Conway could DDT him for the victory. Very believable ending showing the heels were just a little too opportunistic in this match. Before ending the match the cameras luckily showed Renee Dupree dancing his fabulous dance much to my delight. In fact I was so overjoyed I did a little dance in honor of his. Seriously, I imitated him. I am not ashamed to admit it. I once did a Vader impression in front of a group of elderly women. I could not tell if they were confused by my yells of “Vader Time” or scared I was going to rob them. Ah, college.