July 20, 2003

Your Announcers are Jonathan Coachman and Al Snow.

Pyros go, Coach and Al welcome us in, we get straight to work….

1^st Match: World Tag Team Champions René Dupree and Sylvan Grenier vs. Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak. ‘Saint’ Nick Patrick referees this non-title match.

Big heat for the champs, crowd sits on their hands as the challengers enter. Sylvan goes on the attack before the bell connects with a cheap back elbow to the back of Mark’s head. Nick calls for the bell as Mark goes down, Sylvan gets in a quick boot, Mark gets to his feet at the ropes as Sylvan lays in forearms to the face and chest. Kick to the gut precedes a whip attempt, Mark reverses, Sylvan goes off ropes, Mark sets for the back body drop, Sylvan scouts it, connects with a knee to the face. Mark immediately fires off a massive clothesline, Sylvan down and up quickly, Mark sends him right back to the canvas via standing dropkick. Mark hauls Sylvan up, slaps on an armbar, tags in Garrison, Mark exits as Garrison takes over on the arm. Sylvan drops to his knees as Garrison wrings the arm, Sylvan frees himself with a forearm to the face, exits after tagging in René. Garrison connects with a shoulder charge, René down and up, Garrison goes for the side headlock, René wriggles free, shoots Garrison off ropes, René again eats canvas after Garrison connects with another shoulder as he rebounds, René down for 2. Both men up, René tries for a front kick, Garrison grabs the boot, ducks under a clothesline, connects with an elbow to the face, René down. René begs off at the ropes as Garrison approaches, René connects with an elbow to the gut, follows up with a clubbing forearm to the back of the neck, Garrison to canvas. René gets in a 3-count of mounted punches, Nick gets distracted as Mark and Sylvan trade words near a neutral corner, René hauls Garrison up, shoots him off ropes, Garrison ducks under a clothesline as he rebounds, takes a knee to the kidneys from Sylvan as he hits the opposite ropes. René connects with a running knee that sends Garrison through the ropes to the outside, then attempts to goad Mark into entering untagged, drawing Nick’s attention. On the outside Sylvan hauls Garrison up and drops him shoulder first onto a guard rail, then tosses him into the ring. René immediately goes for the cover, just gets 2 when Mark runs in to break up the pinfall attempt with a forearm to the back. Nick shoos Mark out of the ring, Sylvan enters behind his back (without even engaging in the ol’ ‘fake tag slap’), René exits as his partner chokes Garrison on the ropes. Nick calls for the break, administers a stern warning to refrain from his cheating ways as René gets in a quick kick to Garrison’s shoulder. Sylvan hauls Garrison up, sends him right back down with an old-school body slam, follows up with a rear chinlock, Garrison gets his feet under the ropes, Nick calls for the break. René gets the tag, Sylvan gets in a few cheap boots before exiting, René attempts a snapmare, Garrison keeps his leverage, stays on his feet, eventually drops to his knees as René continues the application of the rear chinlock. Garrison slowly gets to his feet, connects with a trio of punches to the gut, hold is broken, Garrison drops to his knees, René takes a jawbreaker, quickly tags in Sylvan while remaining in the ring. Garrison takes a forearm to the back, momentum of the blow sends him into friendly territory, tag is made to Mark. Sylvan attempts a clothesline, Mark ducks under, connects with a clothesline of his own, Sylvan down and up. Mark sends him back to the mat with a forearm to the face, same for René follows, both tag champs down. Mark hauls Sylvan up at the ropes, whips him off opposite, Sylvan gets MAJOR air as he goes down to a back body drop on the rebound. René charges at Mark, takes a back body drop of his own, both champs again down. Mark hauls Sylvan up, whip is attempted and reversed, Mark leaps onto 2^nd turnbuckle before connecting with a neutral corner, springboard clothesline on Sylvan connects, Mark goes for the cover, René approaches, Mark gets to his feet and sends him down with a forearm to the face. René rolls out, Mark issues a taunt at the ropes as Sylvan gets to his feet. Mark turns to face, Garrison runs in, brings Sylvan up in what looks like an inverted Atomic Drop attempt-when Mark connects with an IMPRESSIVE standing dropkick to the face of Sylvan. Garrison bails, Mark goes for the cover, Nick (despite the blatant disregard for the rules of tag team wrestling just displayed by Garrison) counts the 1-2-3. Good match that the crowd seemed to enjoy.

Winners: Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak.

Coach and Al mention The Hurricane will be in action later on and that Rico will be going one on one with Val Venis. Also, we’ll be getting another look at Jim Ross’ interview with Kane that took place at WWE HQ last Monday. Break.

We return to footage ‘filmed last Monday’-Al conducted an interview with Steven Richards and Victoria. Seems taking a jackknife powerbomb from Kevin Nash may have aggravated Stevie’s already fragile mental state, he continues to believe himself in charge of ‘Stevie Night Heat’. Wacko One hints at pay raises for favored commentators, then announces he’s booked a match for next weeks show; himself, ‘the GM of Heat’, vs. Goldust. Al reminds Stevie he recently had Goldust ‘suspended’ from Heat-he responds by announcing the suspension lifted, effective immediately. OK.

Back to the ring…

2^nd Match: Tommy Dreamer vs. Nick Dinsmore. Referee is Chad Patton.

Nick already in the ring, decent pop for Tommy. Bell rings, quick bit of circling into a lockup, Nick goes behind, slaps on a hammerlock. Tommy drops to his knees, takes Nick down with a fireman’s carry into an armbar. Nick gets to his feet, forces Tommy into corner, ref calls for the break, Nick connects with a cheap forearm to the face as he complies. Quick kick to the gut precedes a whip attempt, Tommy reverses with ease, Nick leaps onto the 2^nd turnbuckle, springboards, lands on his feet, wonders just where the hell Tommy is-turns, gets decked by a straight punch from the Innovator. Nick down and up, Tommy follows up with a body slam, Nick up at ropes, Tommy whips him to opposite, prepares to administer another punch to the face on the rebound-Nick wisely holds the ropes and bail to the outside for a breather. Tommy grabs a handful of hair, hauls Nick onto the apron, overhead suplex follows, Nick is sent sprawling in the center of the ring. Nick gets to his feet in a corner, Tommy takes position in it’s opposite, charges, Nick sidesteps, Tommy goes shoulder first into the ring post and drops to the apron. Nick goes outside, whips Tommy’s arm into ring post, Nick re-enters as Tommy slowly gets to his feet. Nick scores with an armbar takedown, follows up by slamming Tommy’s arm to the canvas, covers, just gets 2. Nick goes back to the armbar, Tommy slowly gets to his feet, Nick connects with a pair of shoulders to the chest, body slam follows, Tommy down. Nick ascends 2^nd turnbuckle, drops the elbow, Tommy gets the boot up to the face, Nick staggered. Tommy gets to his feet, ducks under a running clothesline, scores with a neckbreaker, both men down and up slowly. Tommy blocks a forearm to the face, connects with same, Nick down and up. Tommy connects with another forearm, Nick down and up at ropes, Tommy whips him off opposite, sends him to the canvas via back body drop on the rebound. Nick groggily gets to his feet, Tommy scores with a swinging neckbreaker, good for 2. Both men up, Tommy goes for another whip, Nick puts on the brakes, Tommy ducks under a running clothesline, Nick goes off ropes into a spinebuster, Tommy covers for 2. Both men up, Nick retreats to a corner, Tommy joins him, whips him to opposite, charges Nick gets the boot up, Tommy grabs it, connects with a kick to the underside of Nick’s thigh. Tommy brings Nick up, Death Valley Driver does its work, Nick down for the count of 3.

Winner: Tommy Dreamer.

Post-match Tommy treats the fans to a glimpse of his ‘Hey, I won a match! In WWE!’ face. Break.

Wrestlemania Recall: From WM4, Andre the Giant lays the verbal smack on Hulk Hogan and the physical variety on Bob Uecker.

Coach and Al return to recap last week’s Raw-we’re reminded Christian lost his cherished Intercontinental Championship to Booker T 2 weeks ago. Last Monday Christian was granted a re-match: late in the ref was bumped and Christian hit the Book with the Unprettier. Cover was made, referee Nick Patrick ran in to make the count, Book kicked out at 2. Later, Christian got a 3 count from Nick, rolling up Booker while holding the ropes. Christian celebrated until the original ref came in to dispute Nick’s call-shoving match ensued until Raw co-General Manager Stone Cold Steve Austin hit the ring with a third ref in tow. Rattler ordered the match restarted, Booker got the clean pin in short order after the scissors kick. IC Champ exited as Christian went berserk and attacked the ref-save was made by Stone Cold, who stomped the mudhole, walked it dry and issued a Stunner.

Hype for tonight’s remaining matches precedes a break.

WWE Rewind: From last week, Rodney Mack got a win after Rosey. Post-match the lights were dimmed, and when they came back The Hurricane was perched atop a turnbuckle. After sending Rodney and his manager Theodore Long packing, Hurricane and Rosey traded guarded stares.

Coach and Al wonder if the Superhero may be considering Rosey as a tag partner as we return to the ring…

3^rd Match: The Hurricane vs. Rob Conway. Referee is Jack Doan.

Rob already in the ring, very nice pop for The Hurricane. Bell rings, circling precedes the offering of a handshake by Hurricane-Rob accepts, then sends Hurricane sprawling with a quick kick to the gut. Rob hauls Hurricane up, whips him to ropes, Rob attempts leapfrog as Hurricane holds on. Superhero politely applauds Rob’s effort, drops to his knees as he blindly charges, grabs the ropes, Rob flies over the top to the outside. Rob gets to his feet, goes right back down via springboard plancha by The Hurricane. Superhero hauls Rob up, attempts whip into apron, Rob reverses, Huirricane turns and leaps into seated position on the apron. Rob charges, Hurricane gets both boots up, Rob puts on the brakes, grabs Hurricane’s feet, swings his lower body into the ring, drops an elbow on his outstretched neck. Hurricane falls to the mats outside, Rob gets in a quick boot before rolling him in. Rob re-enters, Hurricane slowly gets to his feet, Rob connects with a forearm to the face, Hurricane drops to his knees in a corner. Rob props Hurricane up, goes for the choke, ref issues a warning, Rob gets in a forearm to the chest before backing off. Hurricane drops to a seated position, Rob goes for the boot choke, backs off after another warning. Rob hauls Hurricane up, shoots him off ropes, connects with a knee as he rebounds, Hurricane down and up slowly. Rob goes off ropes, Hurricane goes down to a neckbreaker, Rob covers for 2. Rob immediately goes for another cover, again only gets 2. Rob goes behind, locks on a surfboard, Hurricane gets to his feet, drops to a seated position, scores with a body scissors into a rollup, Rob down for 2. Both men up, Hurricane gets doubled over by a kick to the gut, Rob goes off ropes, Hurricane recovers, connects with a leaping clothesline as Rob rebounds. Both men down and up slowly, Hurricane blocks a forearm shot, Rob takes a pair of forearms to the face, Hurricane follows up with an inverted Atomic Drop. Hurricane goes behind, takes Rob down with what I want to call a crossface Edge-O-Matic, covers for 2. Hurricane hauls Rob up, whips him hard into corner, Rob staggers into a neckbreaker, Hurricane covers-ref notices his feet under bottom rope, calls for a return to action. Both men up, Rob rakes Hurricane’s eyes, shoots him off ropes, Hurricane ducks under a clothesline as he rebounds, goes off opposite ropes, sends Rob face first to the canvas via Tornado DDT. Hurricane gets to his feet, signals for finisher as Rob groggily assumes a kneeling position, Shining Wizard connects, Rob down for the count of 3.

Winner: The Hurricane.

In the back, Val Venis attempts to recruit Jackie Gayda for his fledgling adult film company. Enter Rico, who prissily informs Val that if Jackie makes an appearance in one of Val’s flicks, so must he (humph!). Val tries to tell him his company doesn’t do ‘that kind’ of film. Rico asks if Val considers himself more of a man than he-after a quick checking of the lil’ Valbowski he replies affirmatively. Piqued, Rico tells Val the matter will be settled in the ring.

Coach and Al announce the replay of Jim Ross’ interview with Kane will be coming up next. Before we break an early part of the interview airs-Kane, a towel covering his face and head, produced a gasoline can and threatened to set J.R. on fire if he was made fun of.

Back, we get the remainder of J.R.’s interview with Kane. Big Red professed hatred for the Rattler and Rob Van Dam as he rehashed the old ‘hideously burned as a child’ bit. Things got a bit interesting when J.R. mentioned that the few times Kane’s been seen clearly, he actually appears pretty normal.  Kane grew more agitated, insisted he’s horribly disfigured, then removed the towel while proclaiming his hatred for-well, pretty much everything. J.R. told Kane it’s time to move on with his life. Kane grew increasingly incensed-while back at the arena Austin hit the ring to claim that he wants to help him. Big Red reacted by grabbing J.R., throwing him to the floor, pouring gas on his back and setting him alight. Kane exited as the fire spread throughout the office, eventually the blaze was extinguished by a team of technicians with fire extinguishers. Medical attention was summoned for J.R. while back at the arena Raw co-General Manager Eric Bischoff made his way down the ramp. He laid the blame for J.R.’s near immolation squarely on Austin’s shoulders, then claimed on next week’s show Linda McMahon would be on hand to terminate the Rattler’s WWE employment.

Coach and Al announce that J.R. will be sidelined indefinitely and confirm WWE’s First Lady will be in the house tomorrow night. Final break.

Burn of the Night: From 2 weeks ago, Kane tossed his former tag team partner Rob Van Dam through a wall.

Coach and Al remind us tomorrow night Kane, in his first official match since being unmasked, will square off with RVD.

Main Event….

4^th Match: Val Venis vs. Rico, with Jackie Gayda. Referee is Charles Robinson.

Val out first to a decent pop-his usual pre-match spiel gets interrupted when Rico and Jackie make their entrance to good heat. Bell rings, we go to circling, Rico ducks under a lockup attempt, attempts to apply the lip lock of utter damnation. Val backs away in disgust, Rico merrily preens and poses, Val asks the ref just what the hell is going on, Rico approaches from behind, Val gets his Christmas goose early. Rico skips about, Val again voices his discomfort to the ref as Rico languidly stretches out in a corner. I’m thanking the good Lord above that I’m currently popping amphetamines (as well as smoking, drinking and sniffing glue) as we return to circling. Finally we go to the lockup, Rico goes behind, looks for a full nelson before leaping into Val’s arms. Smooch to the cheek follows, Val drops Rico and retreats to the ropes in disgust. Val finally decides enough of this crap, charges at Rico, ref holds Val back (WHY?) as Rico retreats to a corner to confer with Jackie. After more of that circling stuff-hey, some wrestling, Rico slaps on an wristlock, Val quickly reverses, Rico somersaults through, hold is broken….Rico continues to somersault round the ring then takes a break from the intense action to strike a pose. I consider turning this nonsense off in favor of watching the Shawn Michaels DVD lent to me by a co-worker, reconsider after remembering my loyalty to 1W. OK, Val flattens Rico with a forearm to the face. Good. Val hauls Rico up, whips him off ropes, sends him down with a shoulder as he rebounds. Val drops an elbow, gets back up, goes off ropes, drops a knee to the face, covers for 2. Both men up, Val ducks under a forearm, plants Rico with a ½ nelson slam, covers for another 2. Val hauls Rico up, attempts whip, Rico reverses, Val goes off ropes, Rico looks for a sleeper as he rebounds, Val powers out easily, shoots Rico off ropes, tries for a sleeper of his own as he rebounds. Rico quickly scores with a back suplex, Val down for 2. Both men up, Rico attempts a whip, Val puts on the brakes, Rico eats canvas via spinebuster, Val covers for 2. Val hauls Rico up at ropes, fires off a chop, tries for another whip, Rico reverses, Val to ropes, Rico initiates a chat with the ref as Jackie grabs Val’s ankles to send him face first to the canvas. Val gets to his feet at ropes, tells Jackie to forget about the job with his production company, Rico approaches from behind, throws on a waistlock, somersaults Val into a pinning predicament, tug of the tights unseen by the ref helps procure the 1-2-3. Oy.

Winner: Rico.