December 17, 2006
results thanks to pwtorch.com
1 -- KANE vs. MVP -- Inferno
MVP came out first and analyzed the flames. They aired a lengthy video package recapping the feud before Kane walked out with a big smile. Porter did his best to avoid the flames early on. They fought with the lights turned down to accentuate the flames and possibly to scare the fire marshal away. The flames suddenly jumped from the apron as Porter stood up top for a splash. He then caught Kane with a Yakuza kick to the head in the corner, but Kane sat up. Kane dropped Porter with a big boot, then he dropped him with a chokeslam. The flames jumped at the moment of impact. Kane then grabbed a turnbuckle pad and placed it on one side of the flames, but the fire was snuffed out. He then set the pad on fire and met a punch to the crotch from Porter, who tossed the pad to the outside. Porter dropkicked Kane near the flames, then missed with a dropkick and nearly set himself on fire. Kane went back on the offensive with a sidewalk slam. Kane then shoved Porter off the top rope into the announce table. Kane then flew off the top rope and splashed Porter on the floor. Kane picked up Porter and dragged him to the flames. He pushed him backfirst into the flames and his back caught on fire. Good thing he's wearing his Power Rangers flame retardant outfit. Porter stumbled down the ramp until people set out the flame with a fire extinguisher. JBL was indignant and said he wanted nothing to do with this match. He said justice needs to be served against Teddy Long.
WINNER: Kane at 7:35. A spectacle match with Porter finally getting his comeuppance, but the fire was insignificant compared to something you would see on World's Most Amazing Videos.
Killian, Kristal, Ashley, and Layla were comparing notes backstage. Santa Long walked in and said he had a surprise for everyone. He said the gift to the Smackdown fans is a Naughty or Nice lingerie match. Everyone was giggly.
JBL and Cole recapped Porter being set on fire. JBL called it reprehensible that Teddy Long would let this happen. They showed Porter collapsing in the entrance ramp. JBL said Porter should be filing charges against Long. Great passion from JBL reinforcing the ending.
2 -- PAUL LONDON & BRIAN KENDRICK vs. WILLIAM REGAL & DAVE TAYLOR vs. MNM (MERCURY & NITRO w/Melina) vs. -- WWE Tag Title match -- Ladder match
After both teams walked out, Teddy Long interrupted. He said he's in the Christmas spirit and he has yet another present. Long changed the match to a ladder match. Referees and stage hands brought out many ladders to ringside. Long wasn't done. He brought out two more teams to compete in the match. Out first came MNM. JBL said he's all for bonuses, but he's concerned about what would happen if MNM won since Nitro isn't even on Smackdown. There was silence before the fourth team came out, followed by a "Hardys" chant. The Hardys music then hit and the crowd roared.
Eight-man brawling early on before Matt shoved a ladder into Regal in the ring. Cole talked about Jeff Hardy being at a disadvantage after Umaga smashed his head on Raw and gave him a minor concussion. Matt shoved a ladder hard into Kendrick's head, then London kicked him off a ladder and began climbing. Nitro tried to hit a springboard splash onto London, but London moved and Nitro ate the canvas. Mercury then tried to climb, but the Hardys and the tag champs pushed the ladder to the ropes and shoved Mercury into Nitro's awaiting arms on the floor. Crash and burn special right here with the Hardys and K&L smashing each other with ladders. Kendrick got a hand on the belts at 8:00, but Matt pulled him down to the mat. On the outside, MNM and the oldies-but-goodies battled while London dropsaulted Matt into a ladder. Kendrick then came off the top with a double foot stomp to Matt's chest. Sick combo. MNM set up a double ladder combo in the ring, then took Jeff up top. Matt blocked any shenanigans and then Jeff flew off the top and catapulted the ladder right into Mercury's face. Mercury came up bleeding buckets and buckets and buckets of blood. They showed replays of Mercury's head snapping back like he was shot in the head. Mercury gasped for air on the floor as his eyes welled up and blood poured onto the floor.
Taylor and Regal then went to work. Regal gave London an overhead suplex sending London headfirst onto a ladder rung. Another sick spot. Regal began climbing, but he was terrified as he reached the top. Taylor, with his bum knee, began climbing as Regal steadied the ladder. Kendrick broke up the climbing exercises. Styles said Mercury has been rushed to a medical facility. Goodness, I hope so. Matt fired up at 14:00 with a Twist of Fate on Regal. Jeff then climbed up a huge ladder on the outside, but Nitro dropkicked Jeff off the ladder and Jeff fell stomach-first across the top rope. Nitro cleaned house on everyone before trying to climb up top. He fought off Kendrick, but London hit a springboard dropkick taking Nitro to the mat. Kendrick and Matt then fought on the ladder. Matt hip tossed Kendrick to the mat, then he fought with London. Matt back body dropped London, then he fell off the ladder to the mat. Jeff then scaled another ladder, but Nitro grabbed him. They repeated the spot from their singles ladder match with Jeff sunset flip powerbombing Nitro off the ladder to the mat. Sick. Sick. Sick. Regal and Taylor re-entered the game at 18:00 and knocked down Matt with a charging kick to the head. Kendrick came back to and battled the original challengers. Regal was left alone on a ladder, then Kendrick went for Sliced Bread #2 on Regal, but he didn't flip all the way over off the ladder. JBL said he's never seen anything like this in 15 years. At 20:00, it was London vs. Matt on top of a ladder. London then fought off Matt and grabbed the tag title belts to win the match. JBL said he was proud to call the match.
WINNERS: London & Kendrick at 20:15 to retain the World Tag Titles. Everything I hate about wrestling, but everything I love about wrestling with amazing athleticism, drama, and guys busting their ass in the ring. Mercury took one of the sickest blows I've ever seen in a wrestling match.
They showed Kristal checking herself out backstage.
The Miz walked out and grabbed a mic. His music stopped and he waited for some sort of reaction, but he didn't get a reaction. Miz said he's going to do what no other WWE superstar has done to the Boogeyman - give him a reality check. JBL talked over The Miz before the fans chanted, "You suck" as he did "Hoo-ra."
3 -- THE MIZ vs. THE BOOGEYMAN
Boogeyman chased Miz to the outside within the first minute. Cole said MVP has been taken to a local burn unit in Richmond. Nice follow-up. Miz was in control and Cole said it would be an upset if Miz could win. "Miz being in a wrestling ring is a huge upset," JBL said. Cole then said Mercury has a broken nose and severe lacerations around the left eye. JBL said they need to save a bed because the night's not over yet. Boogeyman mercifully ended the match with a two-hand chokeslam to win. "Rocky Marciano is now dead," JBL said. Boogeyman dropped worms into Miz's mouth afterward. I bet he'd rather be taking a lap dance from Big Dick right about now.
WINNER: Boogeyman at 2:52. The crowd didn't care in the let-down-match-following-a-big-gimmick-match.
Jillian flashed her goods to Leyla backstage. Jillian then fixed Leyla's top as they sat on the couch.
Chavo and Vickie Guerrero stood backstage. Vickie was still sporting the neckbrace. Chavo dedicated his U.S. Title match to Vickie. Vickie thanked him while doing her impersonation of a celebrity on SNL staring at the cue cards off camera. She turned to the camera and screamed into the camera to Chris Benoit. They recapped footage from Smackdown when Benoit put Chavo in the Sharpshooter and Vickie broke it up with slaps to the face.
4 -- CHRIS BENOIT vs. CHAVO GUERRERO (w/Vickie Guerrero) -- United States Title match
Cole and JBL had a good, spirited debate before the match about why Vickie is out ringside if she's injured. Cole said Benoit's frustration is about to spill over. Chavo jumped Benoit from behind to start the match. Benoit quickly gained control and landed a series of German suplexes at 2:00. He did the throat slash and went up top, but Chavo met him with a superplex. Chavo then went to work on Benoit's back. A chant I thought I would never hear, "Vickie sucks," came up from the crowd. Chavo scored a nearfall at 8:00, then he choked him with his boot in the Tree of Woe. Chavo went for a basement dropkick, but Benoit did a stomach crunch and Chavo ate the ringpost. They exchanged blows, then Chavo did the Eddie dance shake leading to One Amigo suplex when Benoit countered the second suplex into a German. He snapped off eight German suplexes, which drew a big reception from the crowd. Chavo prevented a three count by putting his left foot on the bottom rope to break a count. Benoit went for the Sharpshooter, but he couldn't turn Chavo over. Suddenly, Vickie grabbed the U.S. Title and entered the ring. Benoit released the hold and Vickie screamed as he stalked her. Benoit then teased the Sharpshooter on Vickie, but he thought about it for too long. That allowed Chavo to roll up Benoit from behind. He overhooked the tights, though, and Benoit rolled over Chavo into the Sharpshooter. This time, Chavo tapped out as Vickie screamed from the corner.
WINNER: Benoit via submission at 12:18. One of their better matches in the series. Good drama at the end, with all three participants carrying the TV storyline into the match.
They showed Ashley getting ready backstage.
5 -- GREGORY HELMS vs. JIMMY WANG YANG -- Cruiserweight Title match
They had a stand off early on with both men countering leg headlocks on the mat. Helms bailed to the outside to avoid a top rope moonsault and flipped off Yang. Yang gave chase, then Helms took control with a swinging neckbreaker on the floor. Cole had a therapy session with Dr. Bradshaw about being locked in a shower in high school. Yang fired off a hard chop to the chest before flipping Helms to the floor to cut off Helms's momentum. Yang connected with a cross body splash on the floor, but Helms gained control back in the ring. The fans chanted "boring," which set off JBL, who did a shoot promo on the fans. He said Teddy Long has created a contingency of bloodthirsty fans who don't appreciate a good wrestling match after watching an Inferno match. Thanks for saying what needed to be said. Yang made his comeback before missing a corner splash. Helms then hit the Moustache Ride on Yang from the top rope. JBL said it pisses him off that the fans don't appreciate two guys busting their asses for a championship. Yang caught Helms off the top with a spin kick and made a cover for a close nearfall. Yang went for a top rope corkscrew moonsault, but Helms moved and caught Yang with a knee lift underneath the chin. He made the cover for a win. Helms came up bleeding heavily from the mouth with blood dripping onto the mat.
WINNER: Helms at 10:53 to retain the Cruiserweight Title. The problem that we see on every Smackdown PPV with these matches is that WWE wants a heavyweight style match from the cruiserweight division. JBL has seemingly been saving that promo on the fans for quite some time.
They aired a video on the Kennedy-Taker feud leading to the Last Ride match. Tony Chimel said the winner would have to drive the opponent out of the building. The hearse was brought to ringside before Kennedy walked out for a promo. He said he would beat Taker for the third time. One fan screamed out "You suck" as if Kennedy just ran over his pet in the street. They paused before starting Taker's entrance, so there was the obligatory "Rest in peace" chant. Entrance time for Taker: 4 minutes and 30 seconds.
6 -- MR. KEN KENNEDY vs. THE UNDERTAKER -- Last Ride match
Kennedy tried to avoid locking up early on. Taker cornered him and kicked him in the head. He took Kennedy to the outside and posted him back-first into the ringpost. They fought to the hearse where Kennedy slammed Taker headfirst into the rear window. He shoved Taker into the hearse at 3:00, then he tried to close the door, but Taker kicked him in the head. They fought in the entrance ramp as Kennedy tried to escape, but Taker pulled him back to ringside. Taker tried to take Kennedy to the hearse at 7:30, but Kennedy jumped on his back and put him in a rear naked choke. Taker faded out, so Kennedy dragged him into the hearse. Kennedy slammed the door shut and went to drive the vehicle, but Taker was waiting for him. Taker threw him back to ringside and slammed him into the guardrail. Taker cleared the announce table, but Kennedy fought back with a steel chair to the gut. In the ring, Kennedy slammed a chair over Taker's back. He followed with a chair shot to the face. And another, but Taker sat up. Kennedy bailed to the outside and Taker gave chase. Kennedy climbed the Armageddon structure and Taker followed up. Taker teased a chokeslam, but Kennedy kicked him in the groin and threw him off the stage into the padded moat below the stage. They didn't have a camera shot in place of Taker landing on the padding. Kennedy climbed down and dragged Taker to the back of the hearse. He tossed Taker into the hearse and slammed the door shut. Kennedy went back to the driver door and climbed inside. They cut a camera shot on the dashboard with Kennedy starting the engine. Suddenly, Taker sat up and stared an evil look at Kennedy like a villain in a horror flick. Taker dragged Kennedy out of the hearse and slammed a chair over Kennedy's back. At 16:00, Taker straight cracked a chair over Kennedy's head and Kennedy came up bleeding heavily from the forehead. Taker placed Kennedy on the roof of the hearse and followed him up. He chokeslammed Kennedy onto the roof of the hearse and did the throat slash. He dropped Kennedy onto the roof with a Tombstone and threw him down to the floor. Taker shoved Kennedy into the hearse and slammed the door. He started the vehicle and drove through the curtain. Apparently, that was enough to win, although Chimel said you had to drive the opponent out of the building.
WINNER: Undertaker at 20:50. Typical standing brawl gimmick match that worked all right with the stipulation.
Afterward, Cole and JBL recapped the match and analyzed what just happened. Good use of the announcers to reinforce the key points of a big match.
They cut to King Booker putting his elbow pads on before Finlay walked in. He said he's not going to double cross him tonight. Booker said he's not going to double cross him either. He said they need to take care of business. Sharmell stepped into the shot and said they need each other tonight. She looked at Finlay after saying she's sure they wouldn't double cross each other. Finlay said he's got a shillelagh and his little fella. He said Booker only has Sharmell. Sharmell didn't appreciate that.
Santa Clause walked out with a bag in hand. The fans booed him. I didn't realize this was an Eagles game. The same guy who ripped on Kennedy screamed, "You suck!" Santa introduced the lingerie contest. Kristal walked out first. Leyla walked out and no one reacted. Same for Jillian. Ashley came out to minimal reaction. Santa explained the rules. They all four stripped. Kristal was booed. Leyla received strong cheers. Jillian was booed. Ashley received stronger cheers. Santa couldn't decide on the winner, so he said said everyone wins. Santa asked for his music. Yep, it was Big Dick Johnson. Leyla was the eager beaver, while Kristal wanted nothing to do with Johnson. The remaining three danced with Johnson on the way out of the ring.
They aired a video promo for the Royal Rumble with the tag line that only once a year do 30 men wrestle in one match. Well, except for on Raw tomorrow night. We'll forget about that.
7 -- FINLAY & KING BOOKER (w/Sharmell) vs. World Hvt. champion BATISTA & WWE champion JOHN CENA
Basic tag wrestling early on with Cena and Batista dominating. Cena received the usual mixed reaction. He went for the Five Knuckle Shuffle at 5:30 on Booker to big cheers. He went for the FU, but Booker slipped out and Cena followed with the STFU. Finlay broke up the hold, then Sharmell handed Booker a scepter to jab into Cena's shoulder. Booker caught Cena with a standing sidekick for a nearfall. This led to an exchange of tags working over Cena. At 7:45, Little Bastard tried to attack Cena while the ref was preoccupied with Batista, but Cena moved and L.B. kicked himself in the head and tipped over. Finlay shoved him to the outside and back under the ring. Batista took a hot tag at 9:30 and ran over the heels with spears. Finlay then grabbed Batista and Booker hit Finlay instead of Batista with a kick to the head. Batista took the crowd down when he couldn't turn over Booker with a side slam. Finlay then jabbed a chair into Batista's leg. Batista quickly recovered and shoved Finlay off the apron. He then gave Booker the Batistabomb for the win. Cena and Batista saluted the fans to close the show.
WINNERS: Batista & Cena at 11:30. They gave the fans what they wanted and that's about all there was to it. They've had better main events on free TV lately.