If Jessee Ventura Was President, This Would Be His White House
| Position | Wrestler |
| President | Jesse "The Body" Ventura |
| First Lady | Terry Ventura |
| Vice President | Gorilla Monsoon |
| White House Press Secretary | Mean Gene Okerlund |
| White House Chief of Staff | Diamond Dallas Page |
| Speaker of the House | Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart |
| Secretary of State | Ric Flair ("Whoooo better for the job?) |
| Secretary of Defense | The Warrior |
| Chairman of the Joint Chiefs | "Captain" Lou Albano (OK, we'll give him a promotion) |
| Secretary of Education | Bobby "The Brain" Heenan |
| Secretary of the Treasury | Ted "Million Dollar Man" DeBiase |
| Secretary of the Interior | George "The Animal" Steele |
| Secretary of Labor | Hacksaw Jim Duggan |
| Secretary of Agriculture | Hillbilly Jim |
| Secretary of Transportation | Ricky "the Dragon" Steamboat |
| Secretary of Veterans Affairs | Sgt. Slaughter |
| National Endowment of the Arts | The Honky Tonk Man |
| Attorney General | Irwin R. Shyster |
| Health and Human Services | The Undertaker |
| Drug Czar | Vince McMahon |
| White House Interns | Miss Elizabeth, Sable |
| FBI Director | Sting |
| National Security Advisor | Big Boss Man |
| Ambassador to Iran | The Iron Sheik |
| Ambassador to Malta | Baron Mikel Scicluna |
| Ambassador to Scotland | Rowdy Roddy Piper |